Quote 1: Those who enable you to feel safe will destroy your walls!
Quote 2: As long as the sinking ship has a battery, it is possible to overcome the fear and push the accelerator button!
Quote 3: Rain from your eyes is like a storm revitalizing a city in deep drought! Dismissing that will only create an endless dark cloud needing water to restore its glow!
Here is a review/reflection of what I did that weekend (which I wrote right after the seminar and edited for typos):
This weekend was definitely not what I expected it to be. When I learned the meaning of what it meant to begin awakening myself and my mind when I went to Israel back in 2012, this weekend was like dumping a giant bucket of magic growth water onto the planted seeds and made them grow tremendously. I realized what it truly means to challenge myself in terms of having a holistic positive image of myself, as well as chasing my yearnings, desires, and dreams. It also opened my eyes to how much of a wall I have still been putting up, including on stage when at open mic nites. I learned how ok it is to feel angry or sad (and within that spectrum) instead of shoving them off, putting them in a consistently overflowing bottle, or numbing them out. Emotions are allowed. They may not be allowed sometimes by society’s standards, but part of being a human is being capable of utilizing our emotions in a positive way, even if they aren’t positive emotions. I learned what it means to be able to accept compliments, turn the doubts around, and see myself as capable of being able to impact people and have valid personal and dream-oriented accomplishments. Not only that, but for the first time in a long time, I don’t see my job as a hopeless sinking ship anymore and don’t want to give up anymore. To top it off, the person who told me about this conference, which is someone in the grad school program that is on my new(ish) team at work, he yoinked me last night at one point and wanted some insight on my work roadblocks since many of them are just mental roadblocks. It is more motivating to not want to toss in the towel when you know when people are being more genuine about actually caring about you as an entire person as opposed to just on a high level. I’ve been on quite the motivation spree since I ended my relationship at the end of July, and would like to write a story about the power of investing time in yourself to make personal growth. It’s like buying a high quality item to add to your machine… except it’s an intangible item.
It’s quite a beautiful and inspiring thing to see over a hundred people in a room all wanting to better themselves. It’s also a change in scenery when people are alive and happy to be in the room, especially the staff, at 8:30 in the morning; it makes me want to be alive and present at 8:30am, especially as someone who is not a morning person. Everyone who works there loves their job so much and it shows. I literally went from being dead silent sitting there nodding my head (because of having to open up on a deep level to strangers) to my everyday normal jolly self without a giant negative cloud of disdain towards my job and bottled up and sidelined emotions I thought were previously worthless and too much for people to handle. Nope nope nope! On top of the cloud going away, I also already jumped into facing my fears by a spontaneous request to do my storytelling feature a month earlier than originally planned and the sinking job ship is starting to come out from under the water. And, I’ll even blow myself away at my Master Chef casting call this weekend!
The format of this weekend thing was initially sitting in a room and listening to a “TED TALK” type shindig for awhile, as well as go over some lecture-type material. After that, you form small groups of around 10 people based on how your interests align with how the leaders introduced themselves and their interests. We shared our stories and what we wanted to get out of the weekend and the adventures began. There was also a lot of “acting out” scenarios or having to do silly things like you would in an acting class, or discussing parts of the lecture material and how it involved your life with a partner (paired sharing). In the morning (and after the meal break), we would start the day with lots of free coffee and tea, a group check-in, and dancing. There were also other “live” activities, such as the “walking the line” scenario (where if you were affected by x negative action, raise your hand or walk to the other side of the room). Group sharing/discussions happened very often as well. I mainly learned how being vulnerable and expressing your needs can help you improve relationships with yourself and others too.
This is not some “magic scam mc program” that is like a glorified advertisement. I feel a significant difference in my attitude and it only cost me one weekend’s worth of time. It was worth every second. I feel like for those of you who could use a spark of a life, attitude, and motivation boost (and an overall mind/body/spirit refresh), I can point you to it! I hope to be able to keep pointing you all to the smiles, love, and rainbows!
Not only that, but it was nice to be able to put down my phone for awhile and be fully present! We should all take the opportunity to at least do that anyway!
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