Yes, I am planning on writing a book!!!
I haven't made too many announcements about it, but I FINALLY finished the prelude... took long enough no thanks to school!
I decided to call the book "The Divine Passage" and it is basically about the main character, Maron, who's 25 years old and goes to Israel for 12 days on a trip called "Divine Passage" and how it changed her life. Each day of the trip flashes back to helpful or traumatic events in her life and how they all helped her grow as a person.
This is based on my birthright trip back in 2012. Maron is a codename I usually go by and I like the name a lot. The main characters are based off of family members and off of people who have impacted my life positively or negatively. My parents are unnamed. This is also an advocate for anti bullying/anti abuse and mental health awareness. I hope you enjoy this and what is to come!
Maron has never been your average 25 year-old woman... and
never will be. Growing up in what people perceived to be an ordinary middle
class family from Chicago with a happily married mom, dad and twin sister named
Monica, all Maron wanted was to be herself and inspire others. Maron and Monica
always had very similar interests and hobbies since the day they were born. She
never had tons of reliable friends, but was quite sociable. When Maron was in
third grade, she began getting noticeably picked on by her classmates at the
local grade school. One day, the teacher noticed her consistently crying in
class. The teacher eventually pulled her aside and took her to the social
worker's office. Although seeing a social worker in grade school had its
stigmas, she continued to see the social worker at school weekly, as well as
attend biweekly appointments outside of school with her mom. She was picked on
from preschool up through fourth grade until her teacher decided to place her in
a separate fifth grade class for the first school transition; students in the
school district changed schools after fourth grade, after sixth grade, and for
high school. A couple months after fifth grade, she felt stable and begged her
mom to pull her out of seeing the social worker. Everything was smooth sailing
until the beginning of eighth grade, where she began getting picked on once
again after Monica and her best friend Kyle decided to skip school one day to
go to the arcade in town. The day after she started getting picked on again, after
school late at night, she grabbed a knife and lied under the dining room table.
Silently crying for about an hour, poking at herself while not penetrating the
skin, she ponders about Death.
Prior to eighth grade winter break, Maron and Monica's dad developed stage IV colon cancer; he passed away before their freshman year of high school. Maron's transition to high school was no easy route. She developed severe depression and a loss of her identity, but stubbornly refused to attend counseling. She again feared the stigmas of attending counseling and continued to suffer. In high school, people who went to counseling were considered whacked out in the head, fucked up, lowlife losers. During the second half of freshman year, she developed anxiety and began having infrequent panic attacks. She begged her mom to allow her transfer schools on multiple occasions, but her mom said no each time. While always yearning to have a boyfriend, she picked up writing as a hobby during the second half of freshman year to serve as a proper outlet for her slew of sorrowful emotions. She never felt comfortable showing anyone her writing due to a severely shattered confidence. Maron was never a star athlete, but attempted to try out for sports, such as volleyball, track, and softball… and got cut every single time. Marching band was the one activity she excelled in. During the second half of her sophomore year, her best friend and inspiration passed away from a drug overdose. She blamed herself for possessing a fear of telling him that his drug use was spiraling out of control.
Prior to eighth grade winter break, Maron and Monica's dad developed stage IV colon cancer; he passed away before their freshman year of high school. Maron's transition to high school was no easy route. She developed severe depression and a loss of her identity, but stubbornly refused to attend counseling. She again feared the stigmas of attending counseling and continued to suffer. In high school, people who went to counseling were considered whacked out in the head, fucked up, lowlife losers. During the second half of freshman year, she developed anxiety and began having infrequent panic attacks. She begged her mom to allow her transfer schools on multiple occasions, but her mom said no each time. While always yearning to have a boyfriend, she picked up writing as a hobby during the second half of freshman year to serve as a proper outlet for her slew of sorrowful emotions. She never felt comfortable showing anyone her writing due to a severely shattered confidence. Maron was never a star athlete, but attempted to try out for sports, such as volleyball, track, and softball… and got cut every single time. Marching band was the one activity she excelled in. During the second half of her sophomore year, her best friend and inspiration passed away from a drug overdose. She blamed herself for possessing a fear of telling him that his drug use was spiraling out of control.
Defending herself and expressing her feelings have always
been an issue. Being picked on was the majority of the cause for a lack of
self-esteem. The rest was caused by a fearful mentally of everyone blowing situations
out of proportion and shooting her down. With an even greater loss of
confidence, the bullies were winning. During her junior year, she began finding
a passion for developing websites and offering advice to people. She truly
wanted to make a difference and decided to apply to be a student social worker
and a freshman mentor. Shortly after, she received rejection letters for both
positions. Her confidence was regressing even more. Even worse, she began to
notice that her friends were completely fake to her. Even worse, she noticed
that the random acts of having trays put into her bag, her pickles stolen, and
being called names were bullying and not just being humorous. To top it off,
the day after she received the rejection letters, her grandma was in a horrible
car accident and passed away. The next day, during lunch, she had her first
public panic attack, but was lucky enough to run upstairs to a band practice
room so no one saw anymore of the panic attack. The following day after that,
which was fortunately a Saturday, at about 3am, she walked across the street to
the local park and headed over to the train tracks to give up on life. She lied
on the tracks for about 2 hours. No train ever came and she left and got bored
and went home. She started having violent outbursts at home whenever her mom
and Monica would criticize her. It was no longer criticism. It was an expansion
of the bullying at school because they were picking out and vocalizing every
flaw. Scarred and enraged, she miraculously continued to trek forward. Her
senior year of high school, she began to see the silver lining. She got
accepted into the state school to major in web development, which her best
friend who passed away inspired her to love. It’s an outlet for creativity and
creating things with her fingertips and logic. It is also her escape from the
mental pain. With band being her other biggest passion, she decided to try out
for the district honor band. While in a shaky relationship with a man named
Zach and having a stressful day at school, she released her stress through the
music that was thoroughly rehearsed and nailed her audition. The next day, the
band director announced the students who would be taking part in the district
honor band. “Angelina... Gloria...Maron...”. This was the first time she had
not gotten cut from something and felt a sense of accomplishment and pride.
While still getting picked on and having no one stand up for
her, she soon realized that the group of friends she had in high school
continued to be fake; they never invited her to parties, said they're going to
one place for lunch and they end up elsewhere, and would even sometimes
relocate the table behind her back. Not wanting to be seen eating alone, she
would either eat in her car, in the bathroom, or skip lunch altogether and go
to the library to study. Later her senior year in high school, she began
turning to food as an outlet and slowly began gaining weight. To top it off,
she got blown off for her senior prom because her date couldn't afford to rent
a tuxedo; even the group she wanted to go with blew her off. Luckily, other
people invited her over for pictures, to sit at a table, and to an after party.
On graduation day, she yearned to start over and lose the weight back. She wasn't invited to a single graduation party and was highly motivated to better herself. The depression was worsening to a point where she wondered whether or not Monica was real. She started having violent outbursts at Monica and her mom after constant criticism for being a family outcast for being the only one in her family that's overweight. She would throw food, spill her drink on the table, threaten them with knives, scream at the top of her lungs, and much more; Maron was at her breaking point, but wanted to continue on her merry way. Unfortunately, college wouldn't get any easier.
On graduation day, she yearned to start over and lose the weight back. She wasn't invited to a single graduation party and was highly motivated to better herself. The depression was worsening to a point where she wondered whether or not Monica was real. She started having violent outbursts at Monica and her mom after constant criticism for being a family outcast for being the only one in her family that's overweight. She would throw food, spill her drink on the table, threaten them with knives, scream at the top of her lungs, and much more; Maron was at her breaking point, but wanted to continue on her merry way. Unfortunately, college wouldn't get any easier.
Maron continued doing what she loved in order to push her
problems aside. Music is supposed to cure any soul. With that, she participated
in marching band, pep band, and concert band. Unfortunately, she didn't make
too many friends from that. In her section, she once again struggled to fit in.
The section leaders would scold her whenever she talked to her friends in the
other sections and she was stuck, lost, and depressed. To top it off, right
before the scrimmage game, before lining up in a parade block for marching to
the football stadium, Maron, a poor innocent freshman at the time, had no idea
what to do and was trying to make eye contact with the section leader while
patiently waiting for guidance. But no… Hayley, the section leader who the rest
of the band referred to her as the leader from hell, screamed at the top of her
lungs, called Maron a stupid idiot, and dragged her into a spot in the parade
block. One of the seniors then put Hayley in her place.
At the beginning of first semester at college, Monica began
picking on her too and physically abusing her. Maron was even more depressed,
but somehow continued onward. Maron finally started making some decent friends
within her major and in marching band. She was never a huge drinker, but she
knew that she had a reliable crowd to hang out with and go out on weekends
with. Her grades were very high and a glimmer of happiness was shining. The light
at the end of the tunnel was finally starting to be visible.
With Maron and Monica both studying web development and taking the first web development class together, Maron would call Monica and the rest of her friends to arrange a study group in the library to work on the programming assignments. To her surprise, Monica either answered the phone in a mocking fashion, didn't answer the phone, or handed it to the other people that Maron wanted to study with. Those would either laugh or talk in a pretend voice under Monica’s direction. Maron would hang up each time, cry for a bit, and somehow manage to get the assignments done. She ended up missing a C by a few points, while Monica and the rest of the group earned significantly higher grades. She was now even more confused about her relationship with Monica, but continued to have consistent contact when she wasn't fake. Her weight was also increasing with the constant frustration. With that, she went from earning nearly a 4.0 in high school to just under a 3.0 at the end of that semester; for the first time, she had to repeat a class, but that would end up being to her best benefit.
With Maron and Monica both studying web development and taking the first web development class together, Maron would call Monica and the rest of her friends to arrange a study group in the library to work on the programming assignments. To her surprise, Monica either answered the phone in a mocking fashion, didn't answer the phone, or handed it to the other people that Maron wanted to study with. Those would either laugh or talk in a pretend voice under Monica’s direction. Maron would hang up each time, cry for a bit, and somehow manage to get the assignments done. She ended up missing a C by a few points, while Monica and the rest of the group earned significantly higher grades. She was now even more confused about her relationship with Monica, but continued to have consistent contact when she wasn't fake. Her weight was also increasing with the constant frustration. With that, she went from earning nearly a 4.0 in high school to just under a 3.0 at the end of that semester; for the first time, she had to repeat a class, but that would end up being to her best benefit.
Some drastic changes came after her first semester of
adjusting to college life. Getting a job and joining a sorority would only be
part of it. She aced the class that she failed, her roommate was fantastic, her
grades were skyrocketing, and life was unicorns and rainbows. In the next level
web development class, she even met a man who would soon become her best friend,
Mike. He showed her how to acknowledge issues, such as her weight, without
being in denial. He also shared his gift of having an analytical mind. If only
things would continue to go that way…
During the summer before her junior year, the turbulence struck again. She enrolled in a program called Health Spotters and lost 20 pounds. She also found her true love for body art, which her family despised. One tattoo, two piercings, and two stretched ears to a size 0G later, her parents flipped out. Her closest female friend, Rainie, was there for it all. The worst part was that she was diagnosed with anxiety from Rainie’s mom, who’s a psychologist. While taking two summer classes, overthinking the way her family treated her, she had a panic attack. Maron had always been fascinated in how the mind works and watched way too much Dr. Paul for her own good with Rainie.
During the summer before her junior year, the turbulence struck again. She enrolled in a program called Health Spotters and lost 20 pounds. She also found her true love for body art, which her family despised. One tattoo, two piercings, and two stretched ears to a size 0G later, her parents flipped out. Her closest female friend, Rainie, was there for it all. The worst part was that she was diagnosed with anxiety from Rainie’s mom, who’s a psychologist. While taking two summer classes, overthinking the way her family treated her, she had a panic attack. Maron had always been fascinated in how the mind works and watched way too much Dr. Paul for her own good with Rainie.
Among the little free time Maron has, she sometimes goes to the Jewish union. During one of the meetings for Hebrew Club, the rabbi told her about the trip of a lifetime, called Divine Passage, where you get to go to Israel for 12 days and explore the land and culture. With haste, she applied for the trip immediately and was accepted. Her mom unfortunately threatened her to not be allowed to go because Monica wasn’t going to be attending, but she happily embarked on her journey on January 1, 2020. This journey resulted as Maron’s ultimate uphill turning point…
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