So… what is family anyways?
It it just a term to describe people who live together?
Is family blood, belief, crossing the same bridge, what is it?
Sometimes, it can represent pure chaos
Causing you to scream at the top of your lungs,
Until you fall blue,
Crying on the floor.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
When you look through these olive-colored eyes with a visible flame inside,
You see someone who only wants to love and make the world a better place.
Within the confines of a place that should be called home,
Mental safety is compromised and the heart of an innocent soul.
The heart is shattered and needs to be mended.
The heart is shattered and needs to be mended.
You've DAMAGED and RIPPED APART your own daughter,
And I'm sure you don't even falter
At the fact you've turned a beautiful entity into a disgusting disease,
A place reminding me of a toxic wasteland.
A place reminding me of a toxic wasteland.
Through the idealistic vision of a family,
You see people gathered at the dinner table
Sharing stories
Being open
Possessing a special kind of love
Saying the words “I love you” to everyone's faces,
And even displaying genuine affection.
But if I told you I loved you, I feel I'd be lying...
What if the only thing that wanders within your mind is is a bitter taste,
Triggered by the daily beatings inside your head,
In every location, even your bed?
This home is not safe and I must escape!
This home is not safe and I must escape!
Surrounded by constant negativity,
Complaint after complaint after complaint
Picking out flaw after flaw after flaw that you wear on your sleeve every day,
Like a gun with never-ending ammo,
Like a gun with never-ending ammo,
I feel like I'm depicted as a computer error and must be destroyed.
They always hinted, “when are you moving out” and “in case you move out soon, we’ll help you…”
They tell me how I'm not good enough and fall short,
Being driven into a dark hole
Where all of the support I was given was just a facade.
The more bullet holes I accumulate in my flesh,
The pain builds deeper and deeper and deeper pain within the destroyed soul
Causing it to shut down.
Brutal terror engulfs the odd one
With the fiery rage dispels from the monster within.
I am so desperate to penetrate through the evil
I've bottled up for years from every pill I've had to swallow from your pain.
They're standing in front of me yelling in my face again for forgetting to put the mustard in the fridge
And the unkind demands I said no to for the first time.
I've bottled up for years from every pill I've had to swallow from your pain.
They're standing in front of me yelling in my face again for forgetting to put the mustard in the fridge
And the unkind demands I said no to for the first time.
You threaten to chase me up the stairs and beat me again,
But before I run, I pull out of my pocket my last resort attack,
The ear-shattering use of “STOP!!!!!
The only thing destroying the family is you… This isn't MY fault…”
As I contemplate to myself how exhausting negativity is,
And what family really is,
I yearn to be myself
And set on a quest to find which constellation is mine;
It's the one without a name sitting next to the sun!
The ear-shattering use of “STOP!!!!!
The only thing destroying the family is you… This isn't MY fault…”
As I contemplate to myself how exhausting negativity is,
And what family really is,
I yearn to be myself
And set on a quest to find which constellation is mine;
It's the one without a name sitting next to the sun!
She runs away from hell,
To a land where camaraderie exists
And love is in the air!
Relationships feed from the optimistic sky
As life is racing by!
In a place where fresh air is everywhere
And positivity reigns in heaven,
Everyone treats you as you deserve.
Your kind heart and help matter
You thrive from your surroundings and your people,
Who tell you how much of an asset you are,
And how you're better of a person than you think you are.
Hearing the three magic words being told to your face: “I love you”
Having someone approach you to say: “you inspire me”
Seeing someone pour from their heart: “you’re truly important”
And that isn’t even from my flesh and blood.
Being with “family”
Isn’t a reminder that you have to settle in desperation just to have a roof over your head,
Be driven into a pit of misery and despair,
And get pushed to run away…
But you should be endeared in life through positive reinforcement from loved ones
Who show you the way to be truly happy in life is to be surrounded by wacky people whose synergy lights the universe
And tell you no matter how many cracks on the surface, nothing is ever broken.
I am not broken; I am now whole!
If you want some more inspiration or find out when I post my next poem or blog post, like me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebsMcduxler
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