Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Road to Being Different: Non-Conformism

So what is it like being different? What is this "hipster" trend everyone speaks of? What is individualism. This post describes it all through the eyes of me, someone who has experienced all of this first hand. Enjoy!



I am gaining soulful knowledge as I tremble down this precious path. It is one that few are willing to open their eyes to… when they do, they will never turn back!

Being "different" doesn't always mean that you possess lesser of a physical or mental capacity than others. It just means that your interest, fashion sense, the way you conduct yourself, etc. is not within any sort of spectrum. You are not popular, nor are you a loser. In a sense, you are an outcast to society. In retrospect, you're just one who decided to turn the world into a coloring book and color outside the lines and with colors that don't match the picture.

Unfortunately, these types of people are highly susceptible to being bullied. Going through pain does, however, make you a stronger person. Being bullied and told that "you're weird" may cause people to end up wanting to fit a mold and lose sight of who they really are. Individualism is severely declining because everyone wants to look like "it" instead of "you". There is one way people are aiming to look and they are running in that direction. Variations of "it" end up forming cliques, groups, sororities, etc. If you don't fit, you're either shunned, made fun of, or both. It stinks, but you need to have a lot of will and motivation to hold onto your true identity and to feel comfortable flaunting it.

If you are strong enough to tolerate the constant criticism, you end up becoming the definition of a genuine person. You will be a magnet and people will be attracted to the likes of you. When people see a red apple in a box of green apples, they realize it doesn't belong, but those who are curious to try will be pleasantly surprised. Unfortunately, staying true to yourself is easier said than done. It is very difficult to stay strong, especially when what should be your primary support system is doing the opposite.

Something that always helps is having friends and/or family who stand behind you despite your ways. You don't want to conform to the norm. To you, there is no such thing as normal. You are you and always you. In all honesty, the things that I have admitted to doing that are the most "out there" types of activities, such as "larping", have all gotten a lot more positive reception than I thought. A lady that sits behind me at work thought it was one of the coolest things she's ever heard. If you don't let fear consume you, your individuality will prevail and you will be an inspiration to others. No, not those "perfect" people who everyone claims to be inspired by… those people who are like Snow White and clean with all the cute animals by their side. No, not that type of person. I mean someone who is willing to consistently stand up for what they believe in and present their brand to the rest of the world with pride. These people deserve the most respect because of the hardships they endure throughout their lives. Those of the types of people who inspire me… those who bring zest and meaning to life and introduce it to me. They should be admired more than someone who is perfect because they are missing out on a part of life that they should be exposed to.

I'm sure you're wondering about hipsters, right? If I were to define hipsters, I would coin them as being conformists about being anti-conformist. Hipsters claim to be ones to challenge society every day, but really, they just ended up forming their own little society that function as that type of anti-conformists, instead of being your own person who is free of ANY label. I tried listening to so called "hipster" music, and I couldn't do it… then again, I like more upbeat/poppy style music (NOT pop, but music that is fast and will make you happy or empowered when you listen to it). If hipsters are conformists to being non-conformist, then what does it mean to be truly nonconformist?

To be a genuine non-conformist, you must establish your own distinct style/fashion sense, have your own set of mannerisms, and have a set of interests/hobbies that is outside of the norm. For example, I am a young adult female who has liked anime since age 10, works in a male-dominated field as a web developer, did band for as long as I could remember, was one of the founders of my high school’s video game/DDR club, writes spoken word poetry, likes contact sports/martial arts, and doesn’t care if I go walking outside wearing purple pants, leopard leggings, a giant hair bow, or brightly colored eyeshadow. Today, I even went to work wearing a scarf with piano keys on it (I work in a business casual office, but it was “jeans” day today). Yeah, I have of course had people tell me that what I’m wearing looks “weird”, but I don’t let that stop me from walking out the door. It’s not like I’m wearing puke-colored clothes or something. Probably one of the most painful things I received happened about 3.5 years ago where a couple people (all were friends, same incident) sent me facebook messages that in great detail, told me that I was a worthless, fat whale. How do you keep going after such negative feedback?

In order to successfully travel down the road to being different, it may take years to realize your true identity. Of course, this is the road less traveled and who in their right mind would want to go down that route? You may end up denying it, resenting it, or enter a state of disbelief and think to yourself “I can’t believe I’m doing this”. You basically end up in an argument with your mind wondering why you are where you are. That mindset must go away, but it definitely takes time for that to happen. Struggling to accept yourself is a major human fallacy in itself. Make sure you have a support system of close friends or family that will always understand you and be there for you. There will always be positive feedback in your favor. A good example of that is when I tell people on my team at work that I do "some crazy medieval foam sword fighting thing" and start telling them all the lingo. They were all amused and thought it was the coolest thing in the entire world. You can't always assume people are going to think negatively of everything you say and do. You have to believe in your power, your overall sense of self, and everything you stand for. As long as you stand behind yourself confidently, others will follow like a magnet attracting metal.

In order to successfully survive the road to being different, you must be able to accept much negative criticism and reception. Haters exist everywhere. Ignore them. They mean nothing to you or anyone in your circle of whatever size. As long as you are you and you are happy, that's what's most important. Be careful not to go too overboard with this concept, otherwise people will see you as weird, fake, or creepy. You need to stay within a certain degree of means to avoid deliberately setting yourself up for ridicule. For example, if you walked outside in just your underwear, people would laugh at you. If you walked outside in regular clothes and a Tony the Tiger shirt, people would be like "woah, that's so awesome!" You must not be indecisive and know where you want to go. You must never stop when you run into an obstacle or people purposely try to bring you down. Everything is easier said than done, but you need to always make sure you uphold your values with pride. Start from there and keep going!

What does it mean to go down the road less traveled? It doesn’t mean you're not a “regular person” and it doesn't mean you're at all screwed up in the head. With me, I have a job in my field of study, live on my own with a friend, I actually have friends, and I am college educated. Being different is NOT a rebellion, a cry for help, or a mental illness. It just means to engage in activities people are less likely to engage in, dressing in ways no one would ever expect to see, thinking the way no one else does, and being what no one's ever seen before. People will warm up to it. It's the emergence of a new trend only you possess. It's you feeling comfortable being you. Those who survive feel a sense of pride and possess an unsurmountable amount of wisdom for everything they have to put up with. Everyone is in this world for a reason. For some, it's to show that different is beautiful… it really is! Different is not broken, less worthy, or unnatural. It is the boldness of individuality. Let's show the world how amazing different is by you just being you!

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