Lost in Translation

What do I want to do with my life and who do I want in my life? A question many twenty-somethings asks themselves. I studied Web Development in college and got a job right out of school. Every time I create a program, it’s supposed to produce a specific output. System.out.println(“Lost in Translation”, x); The program responds with a syntax error. When a syntax error occurs, you have to go back in the program and find where the “red X” is in your program. After reviewing the program, you keep fixing the problem until the desired output is attained. I decided to run the program one more time, which it ran to completion error free. I later notice something fishy about the program; the answer is supposed to be 1, while mine was 0. This is what’s known as a logic error, where the program runs error free with a different than desired output.

Growing up, I thought I wanted to be a computer programmer. My parents had this “vision” of who I was going to be when I grew up. They wanted me to be rich with lots of money, successful in a career, and marry a “nice Jewish man”. One of my childhood friends exposed me to programming at age 12. Unfortunately, most of my encounters with programming and programming classes have been negative. Right before it was time to start finding my true path, he ended up becoming an angel to watch over me and guide me from above. The more I sat at my desk I watched myself ride a sinking ship for almost 3 years. I would receive programming assignments with vague instructions and be told to go have fun. I’d run my program. System.out.println(“please work”, y); Program returns syntax error. Several days elapse. Syntax error. I try to tell my manager the type of assistance I need, but one person would run me around in circles aimlessly and another would tell me to go figure the answer out myself. Several failed or incomplete assignments later, I tried again elsewhere in the company to understand what this “Java Programming” thing is all about. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out either.

My parents thought I was successful because I had a job, but I was unhappy and not producing, therefore I was not successful in my eyes. Despite knowing they wouldn’t approve, I took a necessary and planned leap of faith and left my job as a programmer to find myself as a freelance writer and web developer while still making money driving for Uber and Lyft, or doing whatever else I could get my hands on. We are in a different generation and they need to understand millennials have a different viewpoint than generation X and Y. Success to them is stability. Success to me is happiness and being able to pay my bills. In the meantime, I will go be “Your Friendly Neighborhood Uber Driver”, hoping the right people will notice me.

It seems like being different yields ridicule because no one understands the language. I would be dressed to go to a bar in pink leggings, a black dress, and rainbow-colored eyes. My parents would make comments alluding to me looking weird; I would never change my clothes. I experienced this same ridicule in the place I thought was supposed to be my college home aka my sorority. I guess I have my own fashion sense, which makes me different. After I graduated from college, one of my friends in my major introduced me to the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society when I told him I felt lost at home. I felt like I had no friends and living at home was rough. After my friend took me to a practice, I was forever hooked and have been involved in this organization ever since. I would walk down the stairs dressed in my “medieval garb” and have my foam weapons with me. They would assume I was “LARPing”, which stands for “Live Action Roleplaying”. If they really wanted to know what I was doing, they would ask. I would respond by telling them I’m playing a full contact sport where you hit each other with foam weapons, such as swords, spears, javelins, bows and arrows, etc. and if you hit the person in the torso or they are hit in two limbs (or twice consecutively in the same limb), they “die” and are either out for the round or respawn depending on the game type. Players also dress in medieval garb. Several laughs later, I’d walk out the door knowing they made fun of me once again for doing my thing. At least they don’t know about my dancing with with gloves with LED lights in the fingertips. *does a brief demo of what I do for about 30 seconds* There are also meetups for flow arts all over the Chicagoland area, as well as groups on Facebook which I’m a part of as well.

Little did they know this “nerd group” I found, as well as other communities I am a part of would end up becoming my home and place of therapeutic recreation. I found people who helped me lose weight, learn to manage my emotions and my life, and even give me advice on how to manage my money. I am a part of of something, mean something, and am still able to pay my bills. I am different, and if you can’t accept me, you will be the one who’s lost. System.out.println(x); output = 1. Run successful.