Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Understand
If you commonly say that you're walking down the path of life, it's super cliche, but it's true. If you say that bitterness can be turned to something tasty, then you're definitely not out of your mind. If you say that bashing yourself will lead to an endless nightmare, that's so true. When one year ago, the only things at home consisted of hurt, drama, and confusion, you look for a stress release. You're not quite sure who to talk to because figuring out the meaning of who's true and who's out to screw you over is more difficult than the most ridiculous programming language. And the mission still continues now. You turn to your fingertips or a pencil because a virtual machine or a piece of paper reads everything. It will always be there for you. But at some point, you deem people worthy of entering this private shrine. If you are worthy, then you have done something special or led me to a personal reflection session that leads to a positive turning point. If you read the secret hidden messages and understand them, that makes you even more valuable. If you even go out of your way to do acts of unselfishness to help a dream that was attainable with an extra boost to the top shelf, I totally want to pay it forward to you. Even though the smiley face will never go away, there is a hidden frowny face that pops itself out of nowhere and takes me by surprise. The fibers are so hard to erase that there are still remains on the white board that are tough to scrub off. But they ARE going away. If you are able to understand each part of the code, then I will give you more pieces of the puzzle... If you understand, then you are mindful. If you understand, then you are special. If you understand, then you will enter into the beauties of love.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Reflections for a New Year
With a new year, there are WAY too many emotions to describe anything I could ever feel. There's a massive stream of everything running through my
head right now. I want to take everything in and live for the moment.
Yes I write a lot. That's what I do. But I'm going to post it live for once. It is my "coming out of the closet" so to speak, but I am straight. If you want to judge, so be it, but I am done with the words "don't judge me" because I am going to say something new for once. I won't give two shits. If you want to be super critical or cold, not like it matters, because there are people who matter more than you do.
But right now, I am taking a moment to reflect. I am sure all of you have had your dose of insecurities, lack of self-esteem, or maybe even abuse of some sort. But how you decide to fight and cope with everything is up to you. I take my risks. Will you take yours?
Why do I doubt myself? Because I strive to be the best I can be. I am not here to compete with you. I am not here to be better than you. I am not here to outshine you. I am here to make a difference. As long as I do that, I will achieve pure happiness.
I am sure all of you have had your fair share of a tough year. I know I sure have. I may not have escaped all of my classes in one piece and am going to have an episode of Dejavu, but at least you can know that you will do better next time. You always do better the second time and learn from your mistakes. You live and you learn. You can't hold back, you can't live in fear, and you can't just sit on words without putting an action to them. Actually doing something and "making it happen" is what needs to happen. If you need to complain, you can do it for a few minutes, but then you need to take action. Do something about it. Take your own stand.
I am not broken. I am never broken and can never be broken. I am still mending from my past, but am stronger than ever. I have acquired what I need to move foward fresh into the Now. I am strong, but will be even stronger as time progresses to see what the future holds. I am looking forward to also being a better and more effective leader. I have been granted the most wonderful opportunities and blessings anyone can ever ask for. I am ready to grab it by the horns and conquer all. A little pat on the back would be nice here and there!
There may be a party rock anthem going on live right now for all of you, but for me I sit on my bed anxiously awaiting my flight. While doing so, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone personally for what they've done. For dealing with my puddles of stress and for inspiring me to take my interests (and love of music) to a new level.
I freak out about going home because I never know what to expect. I thought I was going to end up alone, but when I stepped foot through my house, I saw otherwise. One surgery and a few bumps in the road later, I came back to finish as strong as possible.
Knowing I had to pull many things out of my rear end and pull energy and motivation out of the sky, the finish line was so close. No matter how difficult, it was possible. Now, I am just about done... it is almost over, but still going. Even though it was a short time, I feel even better than before. I am strong enough, and if you do not think I am good enough, then you can suck it. I am here to please others too, but I have no selfish desire to please myself, but such is a must. Say you decide to... you know... lie to me... hahaha. You're gone! If you think I am fat or call me fat behind my back, then fuck you. I am in the process of changing that, but it is taking too long.... I am ready to try again. But that's because I refuse to let other people's poison bother me. I'm no size 0 or a model, but that doesn't mean I'm "fat" so to speak. I refuse to put myself down. Others need to accept how beautiful they are. Size doesn't matter (unless it's causing you health problems). People need to just be happy with who they are. What has society done?
Ignorance is not my best friend, and if you think so, that's your loss. I am willing to reconcile any shit I have caused, but it must be mutual. If you want to hold me back or start useless drama with me, I have no desire to see it, unless of course it's a Broadway play. Then count me in! I will not play your mind games. I will not listen to your jargon. And I will not have a cup of Java, or ever wish to see that... EVER again. I'd prefer a mocha. Let's sit down and have a chat. If you decide to go on your own path, I won't snap. I am strong enough. We are all as powerful as we think we are. I'll believe in you, you'll believe in me. All the cliche crap that everyone else seems to bring up. Such is true. If you turn around, I'll turn around too. If I care about you enough and see potential in you, I will do everything in my power to bring it out of you, and my dear, you know who you are. If, if, if..... It's a definite.
There are many things I crave. In my power, I will continue to believe everything will come my way. I seek such bliss, and in order to receive much, you must give much. The bliss will be right in front of you. With that, I will take my pride, stick it in my purse, and continue onto the next set of challenges I must face. I know I will win. No need to stick a halo on my head. I believe in myself. My belief in me will have the Force believe in me as well. I don't need a cult following. I just want appreciation. I want to help for the benefit of everyone else with some cream on the side. I live to help others. If I don't live up to my expectations I feel guilty. I want to be the best I can be. But one thing I will always leave is a piece of my wisdom and my mind. I may be different. But the difference is mine. I will always leave with this piece of mind I gave to myself. My own personal quote: "I'm just me and that's who I'll always be". Just living by that will enable a pure state of happiness for me and my loved ones. That's just the way I like it. Just right.
Yes I write a lot. That's what I do. But I'm going to post it live for once. It is my "coming out of the closet" so to speak, but I am straight. If you want to judge, so be it, but I am done with the words "don't judge me" because I am going to say something new for once. I won't give two shits. If you want to be super critical or cold, not like it matters, because there are people who matter more than you do.
But right now, I am taking a moment to reflect. I am sure all of you have had your dose of insecurities, lack of self-esteem, or maybe even abuse of some sort. But how you decide to fight and cope with everything is up to you. I take my risks. Will you take yours?
Why do I doubt myself? Because I strive to be the best I can be. I am not here to compete with you. I am not here to be better than you. I am not here to outshine you. I am here to make a difference. As long as I do that, I will achieve pure happiness.
I am sure all of you have had your fair share of a tough year. I know I sure have. I may not have escaped all of my classes in one piece and am going to have an episode of Dejavu, but at least you can know that you will do better next time. You always do better the second time and learn from your mistakes. You live and you learn. You can't hold back, you can't live in fear, and you can't just sit on words without putting an action to them. Actually doing something and "making it happen" is what needs to happen. If you need to complain, you can do it for a few minutes, but then you need to take action. Do something about it. Take your own stand.
I am not broken. I am never broken and can never be broken. I am still mending from my past, but am stronger than ever. I have acquired what I need to move foward fresh into the Now. I am strong, but will be even stronger as time progresses to see what the future holds. I am looking forward to also being a better and more effective leader. I have been granted the most wonderful opportunities and blessings anyone can ever ask for. I am ready to grab it by the horns and conquer all. A little pat on the back would be nice here and there!
There may be a party rock anthem going on live right now for all of you, but for me I sit on my bed anxiously awaiting my flight. While doing so, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone personally for what they've done. For dealing with my puddles of stress and for inspiring me to take my interests (and love of music) to a new level.
I freak out about going home because I never know what to expect. I thought I was going to end up alone, but when I stepped foot through my house, I saw otherwise. One surgery and a few bumps in the road later, I came back to finish as strong as possible.
Knowing I had to pull many things out of my rear end and pull energy and motivation out of the sky, the finish line was so close. No matter how difficult, it was possible. Now, I am just about done... it is almost over, but still going. Even though it was a short time, I feel even better than before. I am strong enough, and if you do not think I am good enough, then you can suck it. I am here to please others too, but I have no selfish desire to please myself, but such is a must. Say you decide to... you know... lie to me... hahaha. You're gone! If you think I am fat or call me fat behind my back, then fuck you. I am in the process of changing that, but it is taking too long.... I am ready to try again. But that's because I refuse to let other people's poison bother me. I'm no size 0 or a model, but that doesn't mean I'm "fat" so to speak. I refuse to put myself down. Others need to accept how beautiful they are. Size doesn't matter (unless it's causing you health problems). People need to just be happy with who they are. What has society done?
Ignorance is not my best friend, and if you think so, that's your loss. I am willing to reconcile any shit I have caused, but it must be mutual. If you want to hold me back or start useless drama with me, I have no desire to see it, unless of course it's a Broadway play. Then count me in! I will not play your mind games. I will not listen to your jargon. And I will not have a cup of Java, or ever wish to see that... EVER again. I'd prefer a mocha. Let's sit down and have a chat. If you decide to go on your own path, I won't snap. I am strong enough. We are all as powerful as we think we are. I'll believe in you, you'll believe in me. All the cliche crap that everyone else seems to bring up. Such is true. If you turn around, I'll turn around too. If I care about you enough and see potential in you, I will do everything in my power to bring it out of you, and my dear, you know who you are. If, if, if..... It's a definite.
There are many things I crave. In my power, I will continue to believe everything will come my way. I seek such bliss, and in order to receive much, you must give much. The bliss will be right in front of you. With that, I will take my pride, stick it in my purse, and continue onto the next set of challenges I must face. I know I will win. No need to stick a halo on my head. I believe in myself. My belief in me will have the Force believe in me as well. I don't need a cult following. I just want appreciation. I want to help for the benefit of everyone else with some cream on the side. I live to help others. If I don't live up to my expectations I feel guilty. I want to be the best I can be. But one thing I will always leave is a piece of my wisdom and my mind. I may be different. But the difference is mine. I will always leave with this piece of mind I gave to myself. My own personal quote: "I'm just me and that's who I'll always be". Just living by that will enable a pure state of happiness for me and my loved ones. That's just the way I like it. Just right.
The Power of a Sister
The philosophies of what it means to be a sister to someone. This poem was last updated on 1-10-15!
===========================================================
What does it mean to be a sister? Does it mean to be be faithful unto death? Will they be there for your 3am crying call? What they catch you when you fall? Will they even go with you to the mall?
A sister is family... as powerful as the heavens. They love and never judge.
A sister is always there for you, unconditionally to serve as your guiding star...
A sister is your lifelong companion possessing significant meaning. What would you do without them, especially if you were born with them?
A sister is the one to share your darkest secrets with, cherish their presence, experience life with... even stand next to in your wedding! They shall stand by your side at all times
The power of a sister is so genuine... so real... should never be utilized for pain...
What would YOU do without it?
===========================================================
What does it mean to be a sister? Does it mean to be be faithful unto death? Will they be there for your 3am crying call? What they catch you when you fall? Will they even go with you to the mall?
A sister is family... as powerful as the heavens. They love and never judge.
A sister is always there for you, unconditionally to serve as your guiding star...
A sister is your lifelong companion possessing significant meaning. What would you do without them, especially if you were born with them?
A sister is the one to share your darkest secrets with, cherish their presence, experience life with... even stand next to in your wedding! They shall stand by your side at all times
The power of a sister is so genuine... so real... should never be utilized for pain...
What would YOU do without it?
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