Annihilation of Emptiness

Long story short, I've had a pretty bad case of feeling alone/having the "feels" lately... until that all magically changed this weekend and now I finally get to make up for some lost time this summer because I haven't really done too much. This isn't one of my happier poems, but I do reference a past "persona" that I referred to (the puppy)... and luckily, the story has a happy ending. Stay strong, everyone! If you're in a dark phase, pain is not permanent and I will continue to advocate that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! Enjoy! (yes, this is spoken word too)

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Sitting on the bench staring at the rest, the mind starts to recall when the aloneness has come to fruition....
You have entered the land of solitude, but not a bare cell absorbed with metal bars and lack of warmth... nope nope nope!

There was definitely a time at least 8 years ago when you referred to yourself as that little adorable dog running along the streets by herself...
Flash forward to now... while being consumed in adult form, being by yourself isn't necessarily a bad thing, but everything is dependent on perception...

Down the road, this independent woman still feels like that lonely lost puppy from the past... extending her hand as far as it could reach while waiting for the rainbows and the special power in the sky to answer her prayers...
The prayers of wishing the extra bows next to her ears which cause her to stand out don't possess an implicit "kick me" sign that bullies kindly attract themselves to... to try to run them into the ground like a rusty nail that's hammered into the ground and kicked into the dust...

It may be a social stigma to be seen in the cafeteria with no one else at your table...
It may be against the norm to go to a massive concert fest by yourself...
And sitting in a restaurant alone could lead to some stares that you graciously ignore while keeping within the infinite universe of your own mind... you don't want to be "that person" now, do you...

But that's ok!

You don't have to be a total introvert to not want to spend your time with anyone or you to make plans and everyone flakes on you. It's definitely better to actually do something instead of waiting for others to please you...
Life is yours... don't enable the goon headed dumbasses to take control of your goal because it will surely take its toll... and your heart will spiral out of control... you know, the one that starts sucking the last few inches of life as your struggle to keep hanging on will soon prevail!

Get to know yourself... see who you really are, what you like, who you want to be, the whole freeking horizon for that matter! It's yours, especially as an adult who better not let anyone strip them of their basic rights... It's your turn to bash those bullies!
Because in the end, pain makes you stronger and you're the bigger and better person for not succumbing to their awfulness...

The near-infinite is yours to tinker with.... go do something and stop waiting for others to please you because the only one you should be aiming to please is you...
But you never know when the mystery behind the mask will be unveiled... the one who graciously pulls you away from the land of solitude... to ditch the tides of emptiness and whirlwinds of the sorrowful waterfalls...
Thank you, thank you, the sun has emerged from its long-term hiding... lighting up a path to the necessary new beginnings towards the pleasant wonders that the little puppy with bows has been ever longing for...
Cheers to the life that you deserve... because pain is temporary... as there is always an answer for your prayers in the glittering sky! So please... keep hanging on! Your missing puzzle pieces do exist!
You better believe it!

RIP Robin Williams: Be Mindful of Mental Illness

On August 11, 2014, the genie was released from his lamp for the final time. Robin Williams was quite the character to say the least; he always played the funny guy (or lady) in chart-topping movies such as Aladdin, Jumanji, Mrs. Doubtfire, Flubber, Night at the Museum. Not only was he a movie artist, but he successfully executed numerous performances of hilariousness on the standup stage.

Like many of us who invest our lives inspiring and/or humoring others, there's a possibility of possessing unnoticed severe pain inside your heart. This secret "pain" as society calls it, is depression in the books. To those suffering, when the disease reaches its peak, it feels like we've entered the black hole from hell and are stuck inside forever. All of the love, never-give-ups, and fan mail isn't enough to combat this brutal disease.

Depression is a disease. It may not make our insides deteriorate and our essential organs shut down, but it eats our well-being alive; it makes our minds, souls, and hearts shut down as if they've been ripped to shreds and burned. Some people think mental illness is a phase, all in your head, or even doesn't exist. Others say suicide is giving up, selfish, or even cowardly; in reality, it's not completely the sufferer's choice. Your body is reacting to the desires to free itself from all of the pain and suffering.

After this awful tragedy, people had the nerve to troll his daughter. The media also had the nerve to skew the truth just to gain attention and popularity All they were doing was taking away from what actually happened, which was a beautiful person leaving this world due to mental illness. Plain and simple. Stop over complicating everything, people!

Mental illness is an invisible illness that can become fatal if left untreated. Depression can be caused by chemical imbalances, genetics, situational/environmental factors such as being bullied, and much more. If you see yourself suffering to a point where you can't even function in life anymore, go get help. If you're thinking of killing yourself, there's anonymous lifelines where you can call and talk to someone. They had one of those at the university I attended. At one point, I had to call the hotline on one of my friends after one of his friends committed suicide, which ultimately led to him seeking help. There's even "To Write Love on Her Arms", which is an organization that spreads love to all, connects people to proper treatment, and provides an uplifting environment for spreading the awareness of mental illness.

Getting help is not and should not be a stigma or something "embarrassing". It's the same as going to the doctor if you're sick. I've even needed to seek help at times. The most difficult part of mental illness is admitting you have a problem and going to go take care of it. As soon as you take the first steps, the rest is a recovery battle. When you get help, tell yourself you're worthy of recovery and worthy of returning to the light again. Sometimes, all it takes is a push from one person.

From one star ending their life to another, to reduce the occurrence of suicide, admitting you need help or have a problem is not a display weakness. The desire to make yourself well again is a display of courage and strength. You can triumph through your worst nightmare. I believe in you!