Showing posts with label never give up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label never give up. Show all posts
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Thank the Heavens for Life in Trying Times
When someone knocks on the door and wants to come inside
The desire for a mask truly comes to life
Putting on a show of pretentious false reality
Displaying a world of lies
For the public eye
Your skin is the costume to your bones
To either get decorated or ripped apart...
Something will come along soon as long as the proper path is picked!
Masking the pain will exacerbate the life wrapped behind closed doors
In front of the curtain there's unicorns, rainbows, and smiles
On the other side there's lightning and fear
With only a tiny peep hole to look if you dare
At the chaos behind the veil...
I don't want you to see me crumbling from the inside out
Nothing but perfect is ever enough
Caring will only do so much
But change comes from the flames within!
How much am I worth?
My senses are all that matter,
But when you're thrown into the fire by your own blood and clone
And further ripped apart by those who claim to share hearts
It leaves a scar larger than life.
Just let it pass,
Keep moving along,
And realize not all sights are sharks.
I am not my scars!
I don't want you to see me crumbling from the inside out
Nothing but perfect is ever enough
Caring will only do so much
But change comes from the flames within!
When the world owes you nothing
And people owe you money,
You pray the platform you're carefully standing on doesn't crumble...
There's such thing as stability
And it doesn't feel real except for mental tenacity,
The only thing keeping me alive!
I don't want you to see me crumbling from the inside out
Nothing but perfect is ever enough
Caring will only do so much
But change comes from the flames within!
The only thing to do in desperate times
Is to keep on going,
To never ever quit,
And thank the heavens for life!
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
The Option Was Clear: You Are Worthy of Not Comparing Yourself to Others
The option was clear that it is time to be a free, independent woman. Free of ties holding me down, free of a career with no destiny, and the freedom to express myself as I please.
I’ve written several stories, poems, motivational whatnots, and then some, about not doubting myself, but I’ve had a bunch of trouble implementing them due to some past misadventures and traumatic situations, but what I’ve learned through my more recent endeavors is how success isn’t some magical destination point you pick on a map. Success isn’t sitting in a high-paying job ready to bang your head against the wall thinking you’re going nowhere. Success also isn’t having a picket fence lifestyle with prince charming and a bagillion dollars, though both of those would be nice.
Lately, Facebook has liked to inform me how this person had a baby and that person got engaged. I even just found out my twin sister is moving in with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, I’m single as fuck and proud. I’m still in my young mid 20’s and I’m not ready to settle down yet. I may not have a sleep schedule either… I can drive for Uber at “buttfuck o’clock” in the morning and no one to scorn me for being gone. I can attend an open mic nite or performance without someone wondering why I’m not spending 24/7 with them while I have a job and a life. I especially don’t have someone telling me indirectly it’s not ok to go camping with my friends, go to my karate classes, or how I’m never a good enough partner. That was basically the dynamic of my last relationship with “Voldemort” for 10.5 months. Once the relationship was over, I questioned my worth, which was already in question in my head due to many “not so good” relationships with my blood family. When faced with traumatic adversity, you have to condition your brain to see light to tell yourself “you are good enough”. For me, in order to attain as positive of an outlook towards myself as I can, I make sure to surround myself by people who will still be there for me, even when I feel like absolute poopie, and look for every opportunity possible to better myself. On August 13, 2016, I participated in a local talent show in Humboldt Park, Chicago, as a flow artist (“dancer”) and won first place in the adult division. My prize of loveliness was 2 tickets to a Steppenwolf Theater show and 2 tickets to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra in super good seats. After I found out I won, I was in disbelief, but told myself I’m worthy of accomplishments and winning talent shows. I am also worthy of my own creative creations of my own unique style being “good enough”. I’m still not quite in the mood to start dating again, but that’s ok, I can take 1 roommate friend as my date to the play and the other roommate friend as my date to the orchestra, both very attractive gay men! Problem solved! I’d rather be single than in a relationship that’s pulling me down. I will keep doing my best to ignore people’s Facebook bragging. I also need to tell myself I’m worthy of meeting a “real man”, as well as I am worthy of having real friends.
In the adventures of the recent college graduate and “adulting”, what else is important besides friends and relationships? My career. I’ve also told this story 18,000 times, but long story short, I got a nice shiny job right out of school as a Web Developer using my degree, I had bad manager syndrome and didn’t fit into the company, wasn’t around any peers, and was riding the fail train since day 1. I was on 2 separate teams, where the second team’s ship sank faster for me. It reached a point where it was either jump out the window with a parachute or be caught in the fire. I of course chose the parachute; on January 29, 2016, I walked into corporate desk job land for the last time. Now, I’m free from walking into work with the weight of the failure on my shoulders and happily serving as “Your Friendly Neighborhood Uber Driver” with a side of freelance gigs and however else I can scrape money. Now, I’m trying to figure out what to do next. At least for now, I’m still making money and able to pay my bills. I may have failed miserably at my job and had 0 success with what my job description told me to do, but I was able to take soft skill training classes, learn how businesses work, and get to attend an 800 dollar transformational leadership weekend seminar I didn’t have to pay for. There’s always something positive, even in the worst of situations.
SInce it’s Olympics o’clock, I sometimes watch the games with the roommate friends, as well as see results, motivational quotes, and more all over the interwebs. Especially with being an identical twin, I inadvertently catch myself comparing myself to others. I see people all over my Facebook news feed and these olympic athletes realizing their dreams. One of my biggest dreams is for content on one of my websites, blogs, or Youtube videos to go viral, thus, I would be a star. However, since stardom in any sort is incredibly difficult to attain, I need to be proud of myself for smaller milestones leading up to the ultimate goal. While driving for Uber, a lot of people ask me if I have other jobs/endeavors I’m pursuing in the meantime. I tell them about my dreams to go viral, my performance endeavors, my freelance gigs, and my uncertainty of continuing to pursue the field I studied in school. A lot of my passengers provide me with reassurance (as well as my dearest friends) of my personal goodness, which motivates me not to give up through adversity. I’ve received compliments on my quirkiness, which I sometimes fear is “too much” for others to handle as well.
I have to keep telling myself I’m worthy of accomplishments, having real friends, and having my creativity be worth something. Sometimes, I have to bash it through my head 8 million times to tell myself “I am good enough”. As long as I continue to shower myself and surround myself with positivity and not give up, the goal line will be able to be attained!
I’ve written several stories, poems, motivational whatnots, and then some, about not doubting myself, but I’ve had a bunch of trouble implementing them due to some past misadventures and traumatic situations, but what I’ve learned through my more recent endeavors is how success isn’t some magical destination point you pick on a map. Success isn’t sitting in a high-paying job ready to bang your head against the wall thinking you’re going nowhere. Success also isn’t having a picket fence lifestyle with prince charming and a bagillion dollars, though both of those would be nice.
Lately, Facebook has liked to inform me how this person had a baby and that person got engaged. I even just found out my twin sister is moving in with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, I’m single as fuck and proud. I’m still in my young mid 20’s and I’m not ready to settle down yet. I may not have a sleep schedule either… I can drive for Uber at “buttfuck o’clock” in the morning and no one to scorn me for being gone. I can attend an open mic nite or performance without someone wondering why I’m not spending 24/7 with them while I have a job and a life. I especially don’t have someone telling me indirectly it’s not ok to go camping with my friends, go to my karate classes, or how I’m never a good enough partner. That was basically the dynamic of my last relationship with “Voldemort” for 10.5 months. Once the relationship was over, I questioned my worth, which was already in question in my head due to many “not so good” relationships with my blood family. When faced with traumatic adversity, you have to condition your brain to see light to tell yourself “you are good enough”. For me, in order to attain as positive of an outlook towards myself as I can, I make sure to surround myself by people who will still be there for me, even when I feel like absolute poopie, and look for every opportunity possible to better myself. On August 13, 2016, I participated in a local talent show in Humboldt Park, Chicago, as a flow artist (“dancer”) and won first place in the adult division. My prize of loveliness was 2 tickets to a Steppenwolf Theater show and 2 tickets to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra in super good seats. After I found out I won, I was in disbelief, but told myself I’m worthy of accomplishments and winning talent shows. I am also worthy of my own creative creations of my own unique style being “good enough”. I’m still not quite in the mood to start dating again, but that’s ok, I can take 1 roommate friend as my date to the play and the other roommate friend as my date to the orchestra, both very attractive gay men! Problem solved! I’d rather be single than in a relationship that’s pulling me down. I will keep doing my best to ignore people’s Facebook bragging. I also need to tell myself I’m worthy of meeting a “real man”, as well as I am worthy of having real friends.
In the adventures of the recent college graduate and “adulting”, what else is important besides friends and relationships? My career. I’ve also told this story 18,000 times, but long story short, I got a nice shiny job right out of school as a Web Developer using my degree, I had bad manager syndrome and didn’t fit into the company, wasn’t around any peers, and was riding the fail train since day 1. I was on 2 separate teams, where the second team’s ship sank faster for me. It reached a point where it was either jump out the window with a parachute or be caught in the fire. I of course chose the parachute; on January 29, 2016, I walked into corporate desk job land for the last time. Now, I’m free from walking into work with the weight of the failure on my shoulders and happily serving as “Your Friendly Neighborhood Uber Driver” with a side of freelance gigs and however else I can scrape money. Now, I’m trying to figure out what to do next. At least for now, I’m still making money and able to pay my bills. I may have failed miserably at my job and had 0 success with what my job description told me to do, but I was able to take soft skill training classes, learn how businesses work, and get to attend an 800 dollar transformational leadership weekend seminar I didn’t have to pay for. There’s always something positive, even in the worst of situations.
SInce it’s Olympics o’clock, I sometimes watch the games with the roommate friends, as well as see results, motivational quotes, and more all over the interwebs. Especially with being an identical twin, I inadvertently catch myself comparing myself to others. I see people all over my Facebook news feed and these olympic athletes realizing their dreams. One of my biggest dreams is for content on one of my websites, blogs, or Youtube videos to go viral, thus, I would be a star. However, since stardom in any sort is incredibly difficult to attain, I need to be proud of myself for smaller milestones leading up to the ultimate goal. While driving for Uber, a lot of people ask me if I have other jobs/endeavors I’m pursuing in the meantime. I tell them about my dreams to go viral, my performance endeavors, my freelance gigs, and my uncertainty of continuing to pursue the field I studied in school. A lot of my passengers provide me with reassurance (as well as my dearest friends) of my personal goodness, which motivates me not to give up through adversity. I’ve received compliments on my quirkiness, which I sometimes fear is “too much” for others to handle as well.
I have to keep telling myself I’m worthy of accomplishments, having real friends, and having my creativity be worth something. Sometimes, I have to bash it through my head 8 million times to tell myself “I am good enough”. As long as I continue to shower myself and surround myself with positivity and not give up, the goal line will be able to be attained!
Friday, May 20, 2016
Stop Doubting Yourself
A little while ago, I wrote a motivational speech explaining how people should stop doubting themselves. Unfortunately, I've been quite guilty of doing so lately.
Thoughts from my past have lately been popping up in my head, all of questioning myself and decisions I made. The most recent example is when I recently decided to make a career change and left my “nice shiny job”, jumping off the top of a Chicago skyscraper and pulling the parachute cord. It was one of the scariest decisions I had ever made. I left safety and exchanged it for the unknown and adventures. I didn’t think I’d still be able to maintain independence, but have so far been successful.
When you’re a little kid, positive actions are rewarded by affirmation and negative and against the norm behavior are answered by punishment. For me, it seemed like everything in my line of sight was answered with a punishment or snarky response. It all started by getting kicked around in the womb by my twin, thus being born second. I didn’t care about one measly minute, but to her, it meant everything. She always wanted to be better than me and all I wanted to do was be me. I was always the brown banana in the bunch; it was the one that was still tasty and often thrown away or overlooked. I once walked outside in a pink scarf with flowers on it, a black shirt, pink skinny jeans, piano high knee socks, and skate shoes, all tied together with a pink bow headband. My mom gave me the stink eye and ask me if I was about to go in public looking how I did. I walked out the door. My sister didn’t receive the same treatment in my presence, and likely not at all. Little did I realize how bad I felt like I was screwed over for my adult life in terms of believing in myself.
Many people have told me how you're supposed to take pride in yourself, but how can you if the demons in your head are like a cancer eating at your self worth due to the dragons of your past you’re wrangling with? According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it is quite essential to feel a sense of belonging in this world. I wanted to find a special place of being welcomed and praised.
There have been many situations where everyone seemed to believe in me except for me. For example, towards the end of my senior year in college, as a Web Development major, I was given this assignment to make a web page with specific requirements. I was in the library among some of my friends investing in my screen. The demon spoke to me and told me there’s no way I’d ever be able to accomplish this task. When I took a few programming classes prior to this, I had to repeat 2 of them. Both classes were the ones I took with my sister, who showered me with how I was the most useless and crappy programmer ever. I was never really praised and thus, believed I was an awful programmer. I went to the professor’s office several times and he told me I’d surely be able to solve the programming puzzle. After mustering up the courage to spray the demon with pepper spray in the eye instead of backing down immediately, I successfully completed the assignment.
On December 5, 2015, I successfully tested for my black belt in Shotokan Karate. I was constantly showered with compliments by my peers in class, as well as from my friends. I wasn’t sure if I was going to pass the test and would ask my friends, “what if I failed my test?” I sometimes had these toxic thoughts in my head of how I’m not worthy of being a black belt. When I was trying to land my first job right out of school back when I was overweight, I was about to basically have interview number 20 and hadn’t received any offers yet. My mom told me I probably wasn’t receiving any offers because I was overweight and didn’t look good enough. I ended up landing that job. I took my karate test in front of the instructor who had once given me a low score. I was ready to show the world what I was made of. I obviously passed, am worthy of large accomplishments, and need to tell my brain to accept it.
In regards to maintaining relationships with other people, I sometimes felt like people were going to be offset by my quirkiness and how loud I am. I’ve had way too many poor and abusive relationships with men for my own good and I was bullied by peers and family from Pre-K through the end of college. I had also experienced several roommate fail situations, due to fear of communication on my end stemming from the fact standing up for myself at home was punished consistently, among other reasons. Surely enough, I was able to learn from the reasons that made my past relationships fail and hit the jackpot this time around. I am still not so lucky yet in terms of finding a romantic partner, but I’m sure it will soon change.
To top it off, when I graduated from college and was left to suffer the wrath of my parents, I was also left knowing I needed to move on from my high school friends. Thankfully, one of my friends from college introduced me to the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, a group of nerds who enjoy playing a contact sport battle game where you hit each other with foam weapons. I tried to find a community (of women) to accept me in college, which turned into me being considered too weird to recruit people and only good enough to hand out the finger sandwiches and show Powerpoint slides. To my disbelief, after I was introduced to this nerd community, I was welcomed and accepted with open arms. I am worthy of having real friends who love and accept me for who I am and need to keep telling myself that.
Let me begin again by asking, “how would you take pride in yourself if you’ve been beaten down so many times?” The answer is resilience. People are bullies to those who value themselves because the bullies feel the need to hurt others to make themselves feel prideful. The targets for bullying are usually people who identify as being “different”. Every time I doubt myself and prove myself against a challenge, I become empowered. The empowerment motivates me to want to continue to push myself farther than I think I am capable of. Sticks and stones may break your bones, words may break your soul, but the only way to win the fight is to take a stand and keep standing.
Thoughts from my past have lately been popping up in my head, all of questioning myself and decisions I made. The most recent example is when I recently decided to make a career change and left my “nice shiny job”, jumping off the top of a Chicago skyscraper and pulling the parachute cord. It was one of the scariest decisions I had ever made. I left safety and exchanged it for the unknown and adventures. I didn’t think I’d still be able to maintain independence, but have so far been successful.
When you’re a little kid, positive actions are rewarded by affirmation and negative and against the norm behavior are answered by punishment. For me, it seemed like everything in my line of sight was answered with a punishment or snarky response. It all started by getting kicked around in the womb by my twin, thus being born second. I didn’t care about one measly minute, but to her, it meant everything. She always wanted to be better than me and all I wanted to do was be me. I was always the brown banana in the bunch; it was the one that was still tasty and often thrown away or overlooked. I once walked outside in a pink scarf with flowers on it, a black shirt, pink skinny jeans, piano high knee socks, and skate shoes, all tied together with a pink bow headband. My mom gave me the stink eye and ask me if I was about to go in public looking how I did. I walked out the door. My sister didn’t receive the same treatment in my presence, and likely not at all. Little did I realize how bad I felt like I was screwed over for my adult life in terms of believing in myself.
Many people have told me how you're supposed to take pride in yourself, but how can you if the demons in your head are like a cancer eating at your self worth due to the dragons of your past you’re wrangling with? According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it is quite essential to feel a sense of belonging in this world. I wanted to find a special place of being welcomed and praised.
There have been many situations where everyone seemed to believe in me except for me. For example, towards the end of my senior year in college, as a Web Development major, I was given this assignment to make a web page with specific requirements. I was in the library among some of my friends investing in my screen. The demon spoke to me and told me there’s no way I’d ever be able to accomplish this task. When I took a few programming classes prior to this, I had to repeat 2 of them. Both classes were the ones I took with my sister, who showered me with how I was the most useless and crappy programmer ever. I was never really praised and thus, believed I was an awful programmer. I went to the professor’s office several times and he told me I’d surely be able to solve the programming puzzle. After mustering up the courage to spray the demon with pepper spray in the eye instead of backing down immediately, I successfully completed the assignment.
On December 5, 2015, I successfully tested for my black belt in Shotokan Karate. I was constantly showered with compliments by my peers in class, as well as from my friends. I wasn’t sure if I was going to pass the test and would ask my friends, “what if I failed my test?” I sometimes had these toxic thoughts in my head of how I’m not worthy of being a black belt. When I was trying to land my first job right out of school back when I was overweight, I was about to basically have interview number 20 and hadn’t received any offers yet. My mom told me I probably wasn’t receiving any offers because I was overweight and didn’t look good enough. I ended up landing that job. I took my karate test in front of the instructor who had once given me a low score. I was ready to show the world what I was made of. I obviously passed, am worthy of large accomplishments, and need to tell my brain to accept it.
In regards to maintaining relationships with other people, I sometimes felt like people were going to be offset by my quirkiness and how loud I am. I’ve had way too many poor and abusive relationships with men for my own good and I was bullied by peers and family from Pre-K through the end of college. I had also experienced several roommate fail situations, due to fear of communication on my end stemming from the fact standing up for myself at home was punished consistently, among other reasons. Surely enough, I was able to learn from the reasons that made my past relationships fail and hit the jackpot this time around. I am still not so lucky yet in terms of finding a romantic partner, but I’m sure it will soon change.
To top it off, when I graduated from college and was left to suffer the wrath of my parents, I was also left knowing I needed to move on from my high school friends. Thankfully, one of my friends from college introduced me to the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, a group of nerds who enjoy playing a contact sport battle game where you hit each other with foam weapons. I tried to find a community (of women) to accept me in college, which turned into me being considered too weird to recruit people and only good enough to hand out the finger sandwiches and show Powerpoint slides. To my disbelief, after I was introduced to this nerd community, I was welcomed and accepted with open arms. I am worthy of having real friends who love and accept me for who I am and need to keep telling myself that.
Let me begin again by asking, “how would you take pride in yourself if you’ve been beaten down so many times?” The answer is resilience. People are bullies to those who value themselves because the bullies feel the need to hurt others to make themselves feel prideful. The targets for bullying are usually people who identify as being “different”. Every time I doubt myself and prove myself against a challenge, I become empowered. The empowerment motivates me to want to continue to push myself farther than I think I am capable of. Sticks and stones may break your bones, words may break your soul, but the only way to win the fight is to take a stand and keep standing.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Never Ever Give Up Pride
I have a bunch of song lyrics I wrote within the past few years (not too many new ones currently), and this is one of them. I generally write songs for metal music. All words enclosed in caps, **, and !!!!! mean the word is meant to be emphasized and screamed. Enjoy the more harsh side of me!
======================================
Dear God,
Please hurry up!
Just make this world a better place to live in.
Open your eyes and see what people are suffering through!
This pit of pain needs to go away!
Is change as difficult as it seems?
While trying not to give up,
It’s difficult to overcome the feelings of being on a sinking ship
As life and time turn the page.
Why do people seem to never understand
Who us “different people” are trying to represent…
However, challenging society as one of those “different” people
Comes with a large price and an even greater reward.
The evil spirits are terrorizing us,
Causing countless casualties to the colored.
Bliss seems to be in distant lands.
Some may even be crazy enough to embark on these journeys alone while never giving up
*PRIDE!!!!!*
It’s what we see in our minds.
Everyone wants a glimpse of this beautiful victory.
Sometimes there are people down on their luck
*screams* Look past it,
Get over it,
It will be over soon.
*Never let those fuck ups pry into and destroy your glorious chant*
We all analyze society
And how much of a hot mess it is,
But we continue to roll along in lala land
On the painful march towards the glory road of life
*AND LOVE!!!!!*
Throughout our youth,
We’re oh so sheltered and think our destiny is as small and direct as an acorn.
I was told you need to do xyz, go to school, get a job, and off you go goodbye!
It’s such a bust…
When the adventures take shape,
The field of vision morphs from an acorn to an ocean!
Some wonder why
People want to toss the towel in so soon.
All it does is hinder your life.
Patience is your ultimate virtue
Don’t rush into the current of the tide
Or you will drown.
When you’re stuck on the ground,
Don’t frown
Because there are always ways around.
Once you make it to the top,
People will see you as a guru and use you as an example.
Keep your head in the game
And be the one to go out of the line to get straight to the top.
While society brainwashes itself with excuses,
There is a select few who decide to look for the secret levels across the fire pit.
It’s scary,
Be wary,
Keep going… and never ever give up
*PRIDE!!!!!*
It’s what we see in our minds.
Everyone wants a glimpse of this beautiful victory.
Sometimes there are people down on their luck
*screams* Look past it,
Get over it,
It will be over soon.
*Never let those fuck ups pry into and destroy your glorious chant*
We all analyze society
And how much of a hot mess it is,
But we continue to roll along in lala land
On the painful march towards the glory road of life
*AND LOVE!!!!!*
It’s scary,
Always be wary,
But keep on going… and never ever give up
*PRIDE!!!!!*
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Teachings and Lessons from Failure
I’ve been having quite the eventful past few weeks, and have summarized my recent reflections. I am speaking from experience here. I didn’t get the first, second, or third job I applied for. I failed 2 classes in college. I’ve gotten F’s on exams plenty of times, but still won several scholarships and had a solid GPA. I’ve missed deadlines. I’ve received so many rejection letters for contests and castings I’ve applied for it’s not even funny. We are human and there is no possible way to get accepted to everything and succeed on all the shots you take. Nope, nope, nope! I am currently experiencing a failure in my life right now, and here is what I have to say for myself:
After a very disheartening meeting at work, I was sent a quote this morning which perfectly described my current feelings on life:
Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."
Not every battle ends in victory. Not every exam in school earns an A, a B, or even a C. Not every audition will land you the lead role, or even a part at all.
Failure is defined as not meeting a desired or expected goal.
Winning isn’t easy, but the first way to be able to do so is to get the fuck out of bed and tell yourself how glorious of a day you’re going to have. Carry that attitude with you to the finish line, and bam, your chances of success increase just with a positive attitude.
Unfortunately, the path to the finish line isn’t just running across a straight line and whoop, there it is. There’s twists, turns, ups, downs, lefts, rights, and plenty of downs. When you reach a down, you may feel like you’re so far into the ground there’s no way to get up. You lie there, feeling like you’ve reached your pending doom; but lying down isn’t what’s going to drive you forward. The moment you let the light reach your eyes and realize the hole contains a hidden ladder to climb out is the moment you realize you CAN do it. Keep telling yourself you can in the same way the childhood fable characters adapted to struggles, hardship, and adversity, to realize their greatest potentials.
Everybody has moments where they fall short. Everybody has moments when they trip over their shoelaces, or miss a step in a dance, or drop a line, or even make a miscalculation for a major project, present it to the CEO and an audience, and have the entire audience realize your mistake. Failure is a real thing; nobody is perfect. We are human, therefore perfection is the only aspect of life to be deemed impossible.
How do you take failure into your life? Do you let it rule you? Do you let it tell you how much you can’t do xyz? Do you let it tell you the end of the world is approaching? No. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, count to 10, reflect, and keep walking. Giving up, especially without a valiant fight, is your worst enemy, because you only run out of hit points when you die. If you keep walking, you will have as many tries to reach the finish line as your heart desires.
When you fail, think about what caused your result to not turn out as expected, tweak your plan, and try try again. Keep on trying, because success will be achieved as long as you always back yourself up and allow your imagination to tell you a positive result exists. When you fail, don’t just think, “oh, I fucked up”. Instead, ingest this experience and take proper corrective action to learn from your mistakes. Failure isn’t a death sentence. It’s a moment of learning lessons and personal growth and enlightenment. It’s another few paragraphs or even an entire chapter’s worth of juicy content to add to your story.
Society seems to have glorified expectations of what a “successful” person is. You see people already at the top and think they magically appeared there or found an easy route. Nope. They have put in hours of hard work. They have fallen on their ass or fucked up plenty of times. They have been told no enough times to build a tolerance to it.
The definition of success, from General Colin Powell, is that there are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure. When you fail, keep going. Keep on going. You will get there. You have a race to win. You can do it! Everyone believes in you. Now you need to believe in you. Life is yours. Do you want to win?
After a very disheartening meeting at work, I was sent a quote this morning which perfectly described my current feelings on life:
Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."
Not every battle ends in victory. Not every exam in school earns an A, a B, or even a C. Not every audition will land you the lead role, or even a part at all.
Failure is defined as not meeting a desired or expected goal.
Winning isn’t easy, but the first way to be able to do so is to get the fuck out of bed and tell yourself how glorious of a day you’re going to have. Carry that attitude with you to the finish line, and bam, your chances of success increase just with a positive attitude.
Unfortunately, the path to the finish line isn’t just running across a straight line and whoop, there it is. There’s twists, turns, ups, downs, lefts, rights, and plenty of downs. When you reach a down, you may feel like you’re so far into the ground there’s no way to get up. You lie there, feeling like you’ve reached your pending doom; but lying down isn’t what’s going to drive you forward. The moment you let the light reach your eyes and realize the hole contains a hidden ladder to climb out is the moment you realize you CAN do it. Keep telling yourself you can in the same way the childhood fable characters adapted to struggles, hardship, and adversity, to realize their greatest potentials.
Everybody has moments where they fall short. Everybody has moments when they trip over their shoelaces, or miss a step in a dance, or drop a line, or even make a miscalculation for a major project, present it to the CEO and an audience, and have the entire audience realize your mistake. Failure is a real thing; nobody is perfect. We are human, therefore perfection is the only aspect of life to be deemed impossible.
How do you take failure into your life? Do you let it rule you? Do you let it tell you how much you can’t do xyz? Do you let it tell you the end of the world is approaching? No. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, count to 10, reflect, and keep walking. Giving up, especially without a valiant fight, is your worst enemy, because you only run out of hit points when you die. If you keep walking, you will have as many tries to reach the finish line as your heart desires.
When you fail, think about what caused your result to not turn out as expected, tweak your plan, and try try again. Keep on trying, because success will be achieved as long as you always back yourself up and allow your imagination to tell you a positive result exists. When you fail, don’t just think, “oh, I fucked up”. Instead, ingest this experience and take proper corrective action to learn from your mistakes. Failure isn’t a death sentence. It’s a moment of learning lessons and personal growth and enlightenment. It’s another few paragraphs or even an entire chapter’s worth of juicy content to add to your story.
Society seems to have glorified expectations of what a “successful” person is. You see people already at the top and think they magically appeared there or found an easy route. Nope. They have put in hours of hard work. They have fallen on their ass or fucked up plenty of times. They have been told no enough times to build a tolerance to it.
The definition of success, from General Colin Powell, is that there are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure. When you fail, keep going. Keep on going. You will get there. You have a race to win. You can do it! Everyone believes in you. Now you need to believe in you. Life is yours. Do you want to win?
Resilience of the Sword
Another set of lyrics are up and ready to go (finally). This one is basically about if you want to change the world, you need to get up and do something. Enjoy the loveliness! Dreams ARE real!
Welcome to a world that keeps you hungry
Dashing here and there chasing after your dreams
You keep on searching
For the path leading to the gold
Be bold and daring to conduct some experiments
Living for experience
Avoiding being delirious
Looking for the food to fill your muses
Be sure to avoid blowing up the fuses
Who are you?
Do you want to change the world, or set it on fire, or sit and not do a damn thing?
You watch others win the race
And see yourself as a disgrace
Don't let them bring you down!
But make sure to get off your ass
While not roaming with sass
Now get the fuck up and go!
Follow your dreams
You've probably heard that phrase about a million times
But as cheesy as it sounds
You know what you ought to do
Go get it!
Go get it!
If you're stuck in the grind or shuttered to the mundane and the shrine seems like it's light years away,
It's your job to not cry, or run awry and make sure you try.
Now look at the ocean,
And keep your head in motion
To realize how much you're able to pull the sword from the stone...
Welcome to a universe that never stops moving,
Never sleeps,
Never quits,
And even rarely disconnects
If you take a step back you may feel as if you missed everything...
If you feel as if you're absent
Time melts itself away,
But if you try to stay present
You don't want to end up in the desert
If you're doing something you don't want to do,
Don't give up,
Don't give up!
If the only thing in your vision is a big fat endless loop,
Go destroy it,
Go destroy it!
Stay resilient and confident!
You can do it!
Don’t you stop now!
So keep fighting!
Follow your dreams
You've probably heard that phrase about a million times
But as cheesy as it sounds
You know what you ought to do
Go get it!
Go get it!
If you're stuck in the grind or shuttered to the mundane and the shrine seems like it's light years away,
It's your job to not cry, or run awry and make sure you try.
Now look at the ocean,
And keep your head in motion
To realize how much you're able to pull the sword from the stone...
Now look at the ocean,
And keep your head in motion
To realize how much you're able to pull the sword from the stone...
Go push on through the whirlwind, and don’t get bit by the serpent,
But as long as you keep on trudging through the mud
Know that destiny shall let you win
And you’ll get the sword in the stone!
Welcome to a world that keeps you hungry
Dashing here and there chasing after your dreams
You keep on searching
For the path leading to the gold
Be bold and daring to conduct some experiments
Living for experience
Avoiding being delirious
Looking for the food to fill your muses
Be sure to avoid blowing up the fuses
Who are you?
Do you want to change the world, or set it on fire, or sit and not do a damn thing?
You watch others win the race
And see yourself as a disgrace
Don't let them bring you down!
But make sure to get off your ass
While not roaming with sass
Now get the fuck up and go!
Follow your dreams
You've probably heard that phrase about a million times
But as cheesy as it sounds
You know what you ought to do
Go get it!
Go get it!
If you're stuck in the grind or shuttered to the mundane and the shrine seems like it's light years away,
It's your job to not cry, or run awry and make sure you try.
Now look at the ocean,
And keep your head in motion
To realize how much you're able to pull the sword from the stone...
Welcome to a universe that never stops moving,
Never sleeps,
Never quits,
And even rarely disconnects
If you take a step back you may feel as if you missed everything...
If you feel as if you're absent
Time melts itself away,
But if you try to stay present
You don't want to end up in the desert
If you're doing something you don't want to do,
Don't give up,
Don't give up!
If the only thing in your vision is a big fat endless loop,
Go destroy it,
Go destroy it!
Stay resilient and confident!
You can do it!
Don’t you stop now!
So keep fighting!
Follow your dreams
You've probably heard that phrase about a million times
But as cheesy as it sounds
You know what you ought to do
Go get it!
Go get it!
If you're stuck in the grind or shuttered to the mundane and the shrine seems like it's light years away,
It's your job to not cry, or run awry and make sure you try.
Now look at the ocean,
And keep your head in motion
To realize how much you're able to pull the sword from the stone...
Now look at the ocean,
And keep your head in motion
To realize how much you're able to pull the sword from the stone...
Go push on through the whirlwind, and don’t get bit by the serpent,
But as long as you keep on trudging through the mud
Know that destiny shall let you win
And you’ll get the sword in the stone!
Wake Up
Wake up!
Wake up!
It’s time to get your ass out of bed,
And shine brighter than seeing eye to eye with flames!
You have a destination to reach!
There’s an entire day ahead of you.
You slowly creep from the comforting slumber cloud,
Foot by foot emerges from the cave to the ground,
Wipe those sand-sacked eyes, you sillyface!
You’re going to be late again!
The internal alarm goes off and you jump, and twirl, and dance around your living space,
In the same fashion as Snow White cleaning her apartment with animal cuteness,
Telling yourself, “today, I will conquer the forces of life”
Even if you don’t always feel that way when you walk outside.
You smile at the bus driver, tell him good morning, and take a seat,
Engulfing yourself in online news gossip and the slew of text messages you woke up to.
Your stop approaches and you dance away, waving hello to everyone who exchanges a glance.
It’s almost time to enter success land… or so you think.
Walking in as the new kid in school, with your flowery black and pink dress ensemble, and a neon sign saying “colorful person willing to help, I have joy and smiles to share and a goal to reach, can I join?”, in hopes to make a difference.
She is handed a picture of a maze where the illustrator forgot to add the end symbol, and sent on her way.
The face once filled with pink is now filled with blue,
Proceeding onward to be locked all alone in the confines of a 7x10 grey, thin-walled box for several hours,
You tell yourself, “I can still do this… I can still do this”,
And before you know it,
Your destination has been unlocked.
Towels were about to be thrown into the ring,
But you put up a valiant fight and emerged triumphant.
You let yourself color outside the lines,
With your flowery black and pink dress ensemble,
The joy and smiles,
And the optimism shining through the previously blank walls,
Now painted with color.
Wake up!
Wake up!
Aren’t you glad you got out of bed today?
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Annihilation of Emptiness
Long story short, I've had a pretty bad case of feeling alone/having the "feels" lately... until that all magically changed this weekend and now I finally get to make up for some lost time this summer because I haven't really done too much. This isn't one of my happier poems, but I do reference a past "persona" that I referred to (the puppy)... and luckily, the story has a happy ending. Stay strong, everyone! If you're in a dark phase, pain is not permanent and I will continue to advocate that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! Enjoy! (yes, this is spoken word too)
Sitting on the bench staring at the rest, the mind starts to recall when the aloneness has come to fruition....
You have entered the land of solitude, but not a bare cell absorbed with metal bars and lack of warmth... nope nope nope!
There was definitely a time at least 8 years ago when you referred to yourself as that little adorable dog running along the streets by herself...
Flash forward to now... while being consumed in adult form, being by yourself isn't necessarily a bad thing, but everything is dependent on perception...
Down the road, this independent woman still feels like that lonely lost puppy from the past... extending her hand as far as it could reach while waiting for the rainbows and the special power in the sky to answer her prayers...
The prayers of wishing the extra bows next to her ears which cause her to stand out don't possess an implicit "kick me" sign that bullies kindly attract themselves to... to try to run them into the ground like a rusty nail that's hammered into the ground and kicked into the dust...
It may be a social stigma to be seen in the cafeteria with no one else at your table...
It may be against the norm to go to a massive concert fest by yourself...
And sitting in a restaurant alone could lead to some stares that you graciously ignore while keeping within the infinite universe of your own mind... you don't want to be "that person" now, do you...
But that's ok!
You don't have to be a total introvert to not want to spend your time with anyone or you to make plans and everyone flakes on you. It's definitely better to actually do something instead of waiting for others to please you...
Life is yours... don't enable the goon headed dumbasses to take control of your goal because it will surely take its toll... and your heart will spiral out of control... you know, the one that starts sucking the last few inches of life as your struggle to keep hanging on will soon prevail!
Get to know yourself... see who you really are, what you like, who you want to be, the whole freeking horizon for that matter! It's yours, especially as an adult who better not let anyone strip them of their basic rights... It's your turn to bash those bullies!
Because in the end, pain makes you stronger and you're the bigger and better person for not succumbing to their awfulness...
The near-infinite is yours to tinker with.... go do something and stop waiting for others to please you because the only one you should be aiming to please is you...
But you never know when the mystery behind the mask will be unveiled... the one who graciously pulls you away from the land of solitude... to ditch the tides of emptiness and whirlwinds of the sorrowful waterfalls...
Thank you, thank you, the sun has emerged from its long-term hiding... lighting up a path to the necessary new beginnings towards the pleasant wonders that the little puppy with bows has been ever longing for...
Cheers to the life that you deserve... because pain is temporary... as there is always an answer for your prayers in the glittering sky! So please... keep hanging on! Your missing puzzle pieces do exist!
You better believe it!
Sitting on the bench staring at the rest, the mind starts to recall when the aloneness has come to fruition....
You have entered the land of solitude, but not a bare cell absorbed with metal bars and lack of warmth... nope nope nope!
There was definitely a time at least 8 years ago when you referred to yourself as that little adorable dog running along the streets by herself...
Flash forward to now... while being consumed in adult form, being by yourself isn't necessarily a bad thing, but everything is dependent on perception...
Down the road, this independent woman still feels like that lonely lost puppy from the past... extending her hand as far as it could reach while waiting for the rainbows and the special power in the sky to answer her prayers...
The prayers of wishing the extra bows next to her ears which cause her to stand out don't possess an implicit "kick me" sign that bullies kindly attract themselves to... to try to run them into the ground like a rusty nail that's hammered into the ground and kicked into the dust...
It may be a social stigma to be seen in the cafeteria with no one else at your table...
It may be against the norm to go to a massive concert fest by yourself...
And sitting in a restaurant alone could lead to some stares that you graciously ignore while keeping within the infinite universe of your own mind... you don't want to be "that person" now, do you...
But that's ok!
You don't have to be a total introvert to not want to spend your time with anyone or you to make plans and everyone flakes on you. It's definitely better to actually do something instead of waiting for others to please you...
Life is yours... don't enable the goon headed dumbasses to take control of your goal because it will surely take its toll... and your heart will spiral out of control... you know, the one that starts sucking the last few inches of life as your struggle to keep hanging on will soon prevail!
Get to know yourself... see who you really are, what you like, who you want to be, the whole freeking horizon for that matter! It's yours, especially as an adult who better not let anyone strip them of their basic rights... It's your turn to bash those bullies!
Because in the end, pain makes you stronger and you're the bigger and better person for not succumbing to their awfulness...
The near-infinite is yours to tinker with.... go do something and stop waiting for others to please you because the only one you should be aiming to please is you...
But you never know when the mystery behind the mask will be unveiled... the one who graciously pulls you away from the land of solitude... to ditch the tides of emptiness and whirlwinds of the sorrowful waterfalls...
Thank you, thank you, the sun has emerged from its long-term hiding... lighting up a path to the necessary new beginnings towards the pleasant wonders that the little puppy with bows has been ever longing for...
Cheers to the life that you deserve... because pain is temporary... as there is always an answer for your prayers in the glittering sky! So please... keep hanging on! Your missing puzzle pieces do exist!
You better believe it!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Seven Magical Ways to Create Better Opportunities for Yourself
These all may sound cliché, but if you’re tired of feeling stagnant and crave progression in life, here are 7 magical and simple ways to create better opportunities for yourself:
1. Be proactive. Opportunity doesn’t usually just come knocking on your door when you’re sitting on your butt doing nothing. The more you actively pursue opportunities to better yourself, such as attending training courses at work, attending networking events, and pursuing leadership positions, you need to drive the bus! You're in charge of your career and don't take no for an answer... meaning if someone says no to what you want, find another way to grab it if you have the drive and perseverance to do so!
2. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and seek endeavors that are beyond what you think you are capable of, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing. Try something new and take risks... even though everyone else and their entire friend circle of successful people would say. If you think you want to be the president of a club at school or the CEO of your own company, don't sell yourself short with self-doubt or think you'll suck because you've never done it before. Of course you're not going to be perfect the first or second or even third try, but trying just means you're growing and learning from mistakes!
3. Feel comfortable asking “how can I help” to show initiative and interest. Similar to being proactive, this moreso involves finding a task, objective, or role that you have a strong desire to fulfill that someone else is doing and ask how you can help. This is especially beneficial if you're in search for further experience in an area that you want to learn about and don't know as much as you'd like to yet, as well as at a job. Who knows, maybe you can fall in love with something you never could imagine all because you offered to help someone! Also, asking to help someone is always a benefit to you (if they say yes) because it's always a learning opportunity, meaning more invaluable knowledge for you to pocket away and another category of experience for you to add to your arsenal of awesomeness!
4. Be excited to learn from challenges that you accept… with or without reluctance. Yay learning and yay challenges! Challenges foster learning and learning fosters bettering yourself, so why not, right? So what if you fall or even fail. Get back up! You can do it!
5. Embrace and be empowered by change. Change may be scary at first, but change also means new experiences, overcoming obstacles, and self growth and awareness. For example, magically turning from college student to adult was one of the most daunting life changes I've ever made and is probably #1 on my list, but changes like these are 500% inevitable. If you resist change, you will make yourself miserable. It's not easy and will never be easy, but if you want to better yourself, taking a risk or leap of faith in life means you're going to just have to accept change!
6. NETWORK!!!! I can thank the Association of Information Technology Professionals for advocating this handy tip. Networking doesn't just mean dressing up in a suit to hand resumes out to potential employers, but it means trying to get your name and your word out to as many people as you can. Networking also doesn't have to be just for "professional endeavors", but can also take place when immersed in a large group while trying to meet people in a more social/laid back setting. Just think of it this way, the more people who know you and the more people you've handed your business cards to (vistaprint sells nice ones), as well as any cards you receive (or contact info that you exchange), the more people that can possibly meet to help you find where you belong or even give you a recommendation to help you land your next big gig or job!
7. Stay positive and never give up when the going gets tough... If the timing isn’t right for something, don't worry about it too much. If you're young like me, realize that even though life is short, you have plenty of time to make awesomeness happen. When people tell you that everything happens for a reason, it's absolutely true! Rejection also happens... a lot more than you think. The chances of you getting accepted to everything you apply for are slim to none (unless you're super duper lucky). Don't let rejection bring you down or make you quit. The stories you hear of people triumphing after being homeless, getting tons of sorry letters, getting cut from the team several times, etc. are absolutely true! Rejection means to either keep working towards what you want or that there's a better opportunity that's waiting for you and you'll find it in due time! Giving up just means you're never going to see accomplishment... and trust me, the gratification from the "yes" answer you've been craving is worth the wait!
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