Teachings and Lessons from Failure

I’ve been having quite the eventful past few weeks, and have summarized my recent reflections. I am speaking from experience here. I didn’t get the first, second, or third job I applied for. I failed 2 classes in college. I’ve gotten F’s on exams plenty of times, but still won several scholarships and had a solid GPA. I’ve missed deadlines. I’ve received so many rejection letters for contests and castings I’ve applied for it’s not even funny. We are human and there is no possible way to get accepted to everything and succeed on all the shots you take. Nope, nope, nope! I am currently experiencing a failure in my life right now, and here is what I have to say for myself:


After a very disheartening meeting at work, I was sent a quote this morning which perfectly described my current feelings on life:

Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

Not every battle ends in victory. Not every exam in school earns an A, a B, or even a C. Not every audition will land you the lead role, or even a part at all.

Failure is defined as not meeting a desired or expected goal.

Winning isn’t easy, but the first way to be able to do so is to get the fuck out of bed and tell yourself how glorious of a day you’re going to have. Carry that attitude with you to the finish line, and bam, your chances of success increase just with a positive attitude.

Unfortunately, the path to the finish line isn’t just running across a straight line and whoop, there it is. There’s twists, turns, ups, downs, lefts, rights, and plenty of downs. When you reach a down, you may feel like you’re so far into the ground there’s no way to get up. You lie there, feeling like you’ve reached your pending doom; but lying down isn’t what’s going to drive you forward. The moment you let the light reach your eyes and realize the hole contains a hidden ladder to climb out is the moment you realize you CAN do it. Keep telling yourself you can in the same way the childhood fable characters adapted to struggles, hardship, and adversity, to realize their greatest potentials.

Everybody has moments where they fall short. Everybody has moments when they trip over their shoelaces, or miss a step in a dance, or drop a line, or even make a miscalculation for a major project, present it to the CEO and an audience, and have the entire audience realize your mistake. Failure is a real thing; nobody is perfect. We are human, therefore perfection is the only aspect of life to be deemed impossible.

How do you take failure into your life? Do you let it rule you? Do you let it tell you how much you can’t do xyz? Do you let it tell you the end of the world is approaching? No. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, count to 10, reflect, and keep walking. Giving up, especially without a valiant fight, is your worst enemy, because you only run out of hit points when you die. If you keep walking, you will have as many tries to reach the finish line as your heart desires.

When you fail, think about what caused your result to not turn out as expected, tweak your plan, and try try again. Keep on trying, because success will be achieved as long as you always back yourself up and allow your imagination to tell you a positive result exists. When you fail, don’t just think, “oh, I fucked up”. Instead, ingest this experience and take proper corrective action to learn from your mistakes. Failure isn’t a death sentence. It’s a moment of learning lessons and personal growth and enlightenment. It’s another few paragraphs or even an entire chapter’s worth of juicy content to add to your story.

Society seems to have glorified expectations of what a “successful” person is. You see people already at the top and think they magically appeared there or found an easy route. Nope. They have put in hours of hard work. They have fallen on their ass or fucked up plenty of times. They have been told no enough times to build a tolerance to it.

The definition of success, from General Colin Powell, is that there are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure. When you fail, keep going. Keep on going. You will get there. You have a race to win. You can do it! Everyone believes in you. Now you need to believe in you. Life is yours. Do you want to win?

I Almost Got Mauled By A Skunk Once

Welcome to... my second attempt to produce something funny in spoken word land. The inspiration from this came from a cross between going for a night run and seeing a skunk when I'm walking home and cooling down after I finished running and being at a point in life where I'm seeking constant change and want to continue growing. I also want my future pieces to feel "lighter" (meaning not having super dark moods behind them) while still keeping the same optimistic tone to them.... and I feel like circling around the fact that a skunk looked like it was going to run across the street chasing me and the fact that it did legitimately happen gave me a lightbulb to write this awesomeness. Enjoy!

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Hey... so... I almost got mauled by a skunk once...

WHAAAAATTT?!?!? But that's so absurd!

Oh you know... I'm just going for my night run as usual and right when I think I'm home free, surely enough, I see that goddamn white stripe and bushy tail that surely isn't squirrely...
It looks super cute on a screen or video game and turns out to be quite ferocious in person... eeeewwww?!?!?
Because it literally looked like it was going to chase me down the street and spray me with its grossness...

I don't wanna get that nasty stench all over me... and if I did get it all over me, I'd be like "haaaaayyy", but that's definitely not what I want!

I decided to run the other way with my entirety vanishing into the night sky as I find a new path that will better suit me...
One where a certain kind of danger doesn't lurk....
But at the same time... wait a minute!

I soon realize how lame it is to have a fear of something that actually isn't stronger than you! No more of that dumb garbage...
No more dealing with repulsive figures who only cause you to feel bad about yourself or feel any sort of pain... in a way where someone claims the world is going to end and it's all your fault... But meanwhile in the back of your head, you're like "this person is full of shit" in some angry screaming metal voice...
And definitely no more surrendering to someone who doesn't deserve to win because you feel like you "have to"...

No... you don't have to throw your hands up in the air like you just don't care and then you know you'll feel so damn bare! You're allowed to play the game too... you know, right?

Hmmmmm... so how do I play... step 1... ACTUALLY PLAY!

You need to take control of situations instead of them letting them overtake you as you miserably surrender without even putting up a fight...

But it's just a skunk, right?

Whenever people see something they fear or see someone that has recently upset you hardcore or whom you resent to the max, instead of actually approaching the problem, they run away from it...

Hey I'm guilty of it too, but it's time we stop running and start doing!

In order to win the game, you have to take control of the game... not let it control you.
That's how I win my karate sparring matches or any kind of play fights... If I'm too defensive and wait for the other person to attack all the time because I'm "waiting for an opening" instead of making one on my own, 9x out of 10 I'll lose...
But if I'm aggressive and fight for that victory I'm craving oh so much, the chances of me winning are significantly higher!

What if this situation actually happened with something important?
What if a skunk's spray gland was removed and then you saw it... would you still run away?
Why do people always ask all of these what-if questions instead of actually living and trying and NOT being consumed by fear their whole lives....

But the entire time, just to let you know, this ridiculous skunk figure is mostly a metaphor! I did seriously see a skunk that really did start chasing after me when I went for a night run... and it was actually quite terrifying!

But the moral of the story... just live, damnit!
Who cares about some lame skunk anyways?
The only one stopping you from living YOUR life to the max is you!

Teachings and Lessons from Death

I wrote this post in reaction to my best childhood friend who passed away on May 25, 2013. He was my biggest inspiration and the foundation for the rest of my life. I had never lost anyone close to me and these are my opinions on how one should properly cope with the gravity of a hefty loss...

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I know that dying is a part of life, but the true mystery is that you never know when it's going to happen. There are many different ways that people perceive Death, but this is the best way to handle it:

Up until now, during my 22 short years of living, I had never had any real encounters with Death before. I never lost anyone super close to me. I have lost people who lived on my dorm floors and talked to occasionally, had a couple classes with, a couple family members that I wasn't too close with, and even someone in one of my turnabout groups. I even went to a wake for a good friend whose infant son passed away. But never had I lost anyone close to me before. I'd rather learn now than later. It will teach me and provide me with another one of life's experiences.

On May 25, 2013 I lost my childhood best friend who helped me to initially choose my life's path. We got into an argument when I was in high school and things weren't ever the same. I feel like it's a common phenomenon to realize how important someone truly is to you when they're gone. People always have that feeling of "I wish I could have said goodbye" or "I wish I could have told them how I feel" or "I wish I could have rekindled our friendship". Unfortunately, you can't. There are most certainly healthy ways to cope with a heavy loss and optimistic ways to continue to live and love your life.

When someone passes, they may be buried in the ground or have his or her ashes scattered about, but the spirit and legacy will always live on. You can always do something in the person's honor, such as dedicating some kind of personal memorial to them. For example, a school can dedicate a track meet to someone who was active on the track team or the ones who were closest can get a personalized tattoo to remember the loved one or very close friend. Most importantly, even though someone "being there in spirit" isn't the same, it is a healthy way to hold the passed person in your heart forever. Saying a prayer isn't a bad idea either. Mourn the passed person and celebrate their life. It will lighten the mood from the waterfall of tears and room full of sadness.

Your family and friends will be there for you. Alcohol and drugs are not the answer. Those will dilute your problem for a short amount of time and eventually cause your life to spiral out of control. If need be, there is always grief counseling available. One thing to also do is write a lovely letter in remembrance about the person and read it at the funeral. Cry your eyes out and call your best friend to console you and you will feel more at ease.

Death is inevitable and is just another part of the life cycle. Although it's the most terrible thing and it's even worse when the person is young, but it happens and you need to move on from it. You will never forget the person and you can always say hello at the cemetery. Just realize that the person is in a better place and although you can never touch or hear them, but you can feel and sense them.  Most importantly, don't dwell on the past. Take your mistakes and lessons and learn from them for the future. If you messed up or did something you shouldn't have to the person, don't regret it. That will make you more miserable later. Just move on and keep living. That's all you can do. Don't get stuck in a black hole. Move forward. The person will always want the best for you and would be happiest if you lived your life to the fullest.

Don't be afraid you're going to die and keep thinking about Death. You should live your life like you're going to die tomorrow and accomplish as much as you can. Life is short, but live on the edge and don't hold back. Don't let fear consume you. Live in the present and don't take things for granted, especially life. Life is the most precious thing one can have. Take advantage of the world. The world is your canvas. Paint as much as you can upon it and people will see it and become your happy followers and driving force. Take on the world with a smile. Happiness and love are driving forces. Display love to everyone, because who knows, they may one day be gone forever and there is nothing you can do. Believe what you want. Do what you want. Fight adversity and don't be afraid to be the odd one. Just enjoy yourself. Be free. It's better to know that you die happy and fulfilled than miserable and empty! Celebrate life always! Treasure the wonderful gift of life and you will be able to continue marching onward from the tragedy and sorrow. That way, it's never game over for you!