I used to think the world was unicorns and rainbows,
Until the skies turned grey…
On a normal September day, I wanted to play Dance Dance Revolution with someone I thought was my friend.
I knew he had interest in me,
And I told him we were just friends multiple times… without benefits!
Assuming this fellow understood the word “no”, we proceed to go to the arcade.
Afterward we go to Jewel to buy food and alcohol… thinking we were just friends…
We trekked back to his apartment to eat/drink, chill, and watch rhythm game streams… as friends… without benefits.
Once the alcohol came to play, so did his demons I didn’t know existed until it was too late.
I spill my guts while in a vulnerable state, looking for the unicorns and rainbows to face my fears.
Instead, a black hole formed.
2am…
3am…
4am…
It’s 5am and as I’m falling into a drunken trance, his demons attack.
Next thing I know I wander to his bed to pass out and telling him I didn’t want to do anything beforehand apparently meant try again while alcoholed and see if that changes anything.
My pants come off, I give a half asleep “yeah sure whatever”, and I robotically pass through the motions as the devil thrusts inside me…
My lower extremities feel like they were lit on fire and my brain is spinning like the Wheel of Fortune is about to strike a bankrupt space.
I go home, pass this event off as nothing, and it happens again 2 weeks later.
Eventually, I realize something is terribly wrong and begin to seek advice from my friends.
They all told me you can’t consent while you’re not sober and are half asleep.
As soon as I felt the implications of these events, I felt like I wanted to hit a punching bag and have Niagara Falls waterfall down my face at the same time.
Through famine is when you find your real family,
Through hell is when you find peace,
And as for Mr. Rapist, have fun in the trash bin where you belong!
Yes, if you fuck me over, you will end up on my blog you probably don't know about <3
