I am not the person I once was. The past is over now. I am who I am today... #livingathomechronicles
My dreams are different than what you want, but I am secretly building an empire I've never told you about #livingathomechonicles
My success is dressed in rainbows. You're just colorblind. I'm not rebelling. I'm comfortable being myself #livingathomechronicles
I don't need your help. I'm quietly seeking my chosen path of therapy and healing... #livingathomechronicles
No, I don't need to be force fed how to live according to your standards. I need to learn how to fly and sometimes crash into walls to learn my lesson... #livingathomechronicles
Showing posts with label #adultproblems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #adultproblems. Show all posts
Saturday, November 2, 2019
Thursday, January 31, 2019
How to Better Yourself and Survive in a Toxic Living Environment
Living at home instead of in freedom...
It had been about 4 years since any evident return to the nest. I know this topic has been brought up on this blog and through my expressions years ago, but here we are once again... living at home... *cough* I mean hellhole land.
How did I get here? AGAIN? The last couple of times this happened, I had an immediate escape route (a place to go to avoid being at the nest or an immediate plan to move out because I had a nice shiny job), but now, after October, 2018, my escape route has escaped...
Last night, I went to bed at about 3am after a lovely day of productivity and not having to work. I was notified of an additional snow day at work and decided to stay up later indulging in video games.
My sister and me were fast asleep and at about 8am, we were woken up by the sound of my mom yelling/freaking out over where the TV remote was. We couldn't fall back asleep for another 2 hours and have been running on fumes all day. The first thing I wanted was a cup of coffee with a side of some vices. I want to be able to feel good physically and mentally in order to continue embarking on my path to success and being "here" isn't going to make me feel good. It is not worth "saving money" just to be in a negative environment. I am in the process of cutting my expenses on vices and using what I would spend on vices to cover a security deposit and a few month's rent somewhere.
It isn't just being woken up to screaming that's the problem.
I am not in the best shape of my life, but have dropped almost 15 pounds in the last month or so. Here I am celebrating an accomplishment, but I go to eat yesterday while my mom is also on a snow day and sitting in the kitchen, I grab "whatever I feel like eating" and receive negative feedback (ex., "why are you eating that?") about basically just eating in general because "apparently everything I put in my mouth is going to make me gain weight" while my mom is projecting her poor body image onto me just because my weight issues are a bit more blatant. Even my uncle didn't accept my body image when I was at a happy weight because he isn't happy with himself and wants to project that onto me, a vulnerable target. At least I am healthy enough to run for 15 minutes without stopping and pass songs on Dance Dance Revolution that I haven't passed since I gained the weight back again (before I started getting in shape again).
I keep telling myself how well I am doing and how I am accomplishing a bunch of small goals. It's always good to look at the bright side of things NO MATTER WHAT. Right now, I may not have a shiny job, but at least I have a job that's making me feel adequate and I can go there smiling every day. I am smiling because I am free and in my own world. I can make connections and be myself without negative feedback. My parents want me to have some stability and have a healthier financial life, but it seems like the only things my mom likes to talk about are complaints, money, and negative feedback in the form of, "I just want the best for you". My job isn't good enough to be accepted, but at least I am healthy enough to work. At this point last year, I couldn't even hold onto a job for very long because my mental health was bothering me too much. Both my parents fight all the time and after almost 33 years of marriage, I wonder why they are still married. My mom wants to be safe and my dad is whipped by her. He feels negative because he doesn't have the best job and projects that onto my mom, which is more negative energy projected onto the entire house.
How can one be successful in a negative environment?
Honestly, the best way to thrive in a negative environment is to get the hell out of there as much as possible whether it be working (at work), going to a coffee shop to go opportunity hunting, going to networking events to meet more positive people, and exercising/being involved in hobbies. Of course, the other thing to do is focus on what you can do now to make your future more fruitful. My biggest goal is to be free again and get my own place. For me, if I want to be a viral blogger and youtuber, I have to produce my own content frequently in order to get there instead of giving all my time to "the man" and to "everyone else". I don't need to be like everyone else in order to be accepted, because as long as I accept myself and keep smiling in places where I am safe and free, all will continue to move forward as expected.
2019 is my year. 2019 I will be out of this place for good and onto the path to realizing my dreams! I can do it. Besides for living in this place, everything else in 2019 has been solid. By this point last year, my year was up in flames. If I can keep smiling with this hellhole in my shadows, you can too!
Happy end of January and snow day (again), everyone!
It had been about 4 years since any evident return to the nest. I know this topic has been brought up on this blog and through my expressions years ago, but here we are once again... living at home... *cough* I mean hellhole land.
How did I get here? AGAIN? The last couple of times this happened, I had an immediate escape route (a place to go to avoid being at the nest or an immediate plan to move out because I had a nice shiny job), but now, after October, 2018, my escape route has escaped...
Last night, I went to bed at about 3am after a lovely day of productivity and not having to work. I was notified of an additional snow day at work and decided to stay up later indulging in video games.
My sister and me were fast asleep and at about 8am, we were woken up by the sound of my mom yelling/freaking out over where the TV remote was. We couldn't fall back asleep for another 2 hours and have been running on fumes all day. The first thing I wanted was a cup of coffee with a side of some vices. I want to be able to feel good physically and mentally in order to continue embarking on my path to success and being "here" isn't going to make me feel good. It is not worth "saving money" just to be in a negative environment. I am in the process of cutting my expenses on vices and using what I would spend on vices to cover a security deposit and a few month's rent somewhere.
It isn't just being woken up to screaming that's the problem.
I am not in the best shape of my life, but have dropped almost 15 pounds in the last month or so. Here I am celebrating an accomplishment, but I go to eat yesterday while my mom is also on a snow day and sitting in the kitchen, I grab "whatever I feel like eating" and receive negative feedback (ex., "why are you eating that?") about basically just eating in general because "apparently everything I put in my mouth is going to make me gain weight" while my mom is projecting her poor body image onto me just because my weight issues are a bit more blatant. Even my uncle didn't accept my body image when I was at a happy weight because he isn't happy with himself and wants to project that onto me, a vulnerable target. At least I am healthy enough to run for 15 minutes without stopping and pass songs on Dance Dance Revolution that I haven't passed since I gained the weight back again (before I started getting in shape again).
I keep telling myself how well I am doing and how I am accomplishing a bunch of small goals. It's always good to look at the bright side of things NO MATTER WHAT. Right now, I may not have a shiny job, but at least I have a job that's making me feel adequate and I can go there smiling every day. I am smiling because I am free and in my own world. I can make connections and be myself without negative feedback. My parents want me to have some stability and have a healthier financial life, but it seems like the only things my mom likes to talk about are complaints, money, and negative feedback in the form of, "I just want the best for you". My job isn't good enough to be accepted, but at least I am healthy enough to work. At this point last year, I couldn't even hold onto a job for very long because my mental health was bothering me too much. Both my parents fight all the time and after almost 33 years of marriage, I wonder why they are still married. My mom wants to be safe and my dad is whipped by her. He feels negative because he doesn't have the best job and projects that onto my mom, which is more negative energy projected onto the entire house.
How can one be successful in a negative environment?
Honestly, the best way to thrive in a negative environment is to get the hell out of there as much as possible whether it be working (at work), going to a coffee shop to go opportunity hunting, going to networking events to meet more positive people, and exercising/being involved in hobbies. Of course, the other thing to do is focus on what you can do now to make your future more fruitful. My biggest goal is to be free again and get my own place. For me, if I want to be a viral blogger and youtuber, I have to produce my own content frequently in order to get there instead of giving all my time to "the man" and to "everyone else". I don't need to be like everyone else in order to be accepted, because as long as I accept myself and keep smiling in places where I am safe and free, all will continue to move forward as expected.
2019 is my year. 2019 I will be out of this place for good and onto the path to realizing my dreams! I can do it. Besides for living in this place, everything else in 2019 has been solid. By this point last year, my year was up in flames. If I can keep smiling with this hellhole in my shadows, you can too!
Happy end of January and snow day (again), everyone!
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
When Dreams are More than Dreams
What do you want to do when you grow up? Do you want to be an everybody, or do you want to be extraordinary?
While graduating from college with a computer science degree, I thought for the longest time I wanted to be a computer programmer. My parents were blown away when I got a job out of school making bank. They thought I was "super successful", even though I was dying inside and did not like my job. I would be sitting at my desk doing the work I needed to and once I was done, I found myself writing stories, poems, recipes, researching my desired creative avenues, and applying to be on various TV shows. I knew my destiny in life is to create. While I have been involved in computer programming since I was 12 years old, I have taken my writing and performing adventures more seriously since I first started writing at age 15.
After I left my job out of school on my own terms (I am not one to burn bridges unless absolutely necessary), I was ready to make my own career instead of trying to fit a mold. I thought Uber and Lyft were the answer to "working on my own and making it big", but it turned into a failed business venture. I tried obtaining some freelance gigs in the meantime and had minimal luck (better than zero, but not enough to solely freelance). I sold a bunch of my belongings on the internet and have had luck reselling some stuff, but was not making enough to survive solely on that either. After 2.5 years of struggling (from February 2016 until July 2018), I decided to take the summer of 2018 off working completely in order to take a step back and truly find myself. I had a bunch of money saved up, which I spent all of it having fun and making some poor choices in between. My parents saw me as a "failure" because I wasn't going the traditional job route.
After a technical writing job blew up in my face in October 2018, thinking technical writing was ultimately what I wanted to do once I left my IT job, I still knew it was my destiny to create and make people happy. Sadly, in this capitalistic society, you need money, so I decided to get a job as a server and spend more time thinking what I really want to do. While I enjoy my server job and luckily have been working on finding balance to find time to work vs. create, I want to find the best way to maximize the skills I have and turn that into the most income possible. Some people take jobs just for the money, but I know when I do that, I get fired right away, which is a waste of everyone's time. Plus, getting fired sucks big time!
Success isn't a 9-5 job. Success is turning what you want to do into the greatest possible income. I want to be like the Bruno Mars song, "Millionaire" and "I want to be a millionaire so freaking bad". At restaurant land, I am maximizing my time there while learning valuable professional skills and making connections with other coworkers. Making connections is a more valuable experience than making money, even though money is nice and you need money to survive.
My next most valuable skill besides the knowledge of technology (which I still love and still want to write about) is writing. At this point, while working on turning my personal endeavors from writing and performing into a "full-time income" (ex. my blogs/websites, freelancing for other people, my youtube channel and various other creative content I write/sell/post on my own outlets, posting on other people's blogs and getting paid, writing my own books, etc.), writing for an income while turning my own thing into a career is what I want to do. It is possible to turn your dream into a reality. Don't give up or listen to other people's negative feedback. If you do what you want to do and follow your own set path, you will be happiest and live the most fruitful life. It is never too late either. You got this. It is time to create your own path!
While graduating from college with a computer science degree, I thought for the longest time I wanted to be a computer programmer. My parents were blown away when I got a job out of school making bank. They thought I was "super successful", even though I was dying inside and did not like my job. I would be sitting at my desk doing the work I needed to and once I was done, I found myself writing stories, poems, recipes, researching my desired creative avenues, and applying to be on various TV shows. I knew my destiny in life is to create. While I have been involved in computer programming since I was 12 years old, I have taken my writing and performing adventures more seriously since I first started writing at age 15.
After I left my job out of school on my own terms (I am not one to burn bridges unless absolutely necessary), I was ready to make my own career instead of trying to fit a mold. I thought Uber and Lyft were the answer to "working on my own and making it big", but it turned into a failed business venture. I tried obtaining some freelance gigs in the meantime and had minimal luck (better than zero, but not enough to solely freelance). I sold a bunch of my belongings on the internet and have had luck reselling some stuff, but was not making enough to survive solely on that either. After 2.5 years of struggling (from February 2016 until July 2018), I decided to take the summer of 2018 off working completely in order to take a step back and truly find myself. I had a bunch of money saved up, which I spent all of it having fun and making some poor choices in between. My parents saw me as a "failure" because I wasn't going the traditional job route.
After a technical writing job blew up in my face in October 2018, thinking technical writing was ultimately what I wanted to do once I left my IT job, I still knew it was my destiny to create and make people happy. Sadly, in this capitalistic society, you need money, so I decided to get a job as a server and spend more time thinking what I really want to do. While I enjoy my server job and luckily have been working on finding balance to find time to work vs. create, I want to find the best way to maximize the skills I have and turn that into the most income possible. Some people take jobs just for the money, but I know when I do that, I get fired right away, which is a waste of everyone's time. Plus, getting fired sucks big time!
Success isn't a 9-5 job. Success is turning what you want to do into the greatest possible income. I want to be like the Bruno Mars song, "Millionaire" and "I want to be a millionaire so freaking bad". At restaurant land, I am maximizing my time there while learning valuable professional skills and making connections with other coworkers. Making connections is a more valuable experience than making money, even though money is nice and you need money to survive.
My next most valuable skill besides the knowledge of technology (which I still love and still want to write about) is writing. At this point, while working on turning my personal endeavors from writing and performing into a "full-time income" (ex. my blogs/websites, freelancing for other people, my youtube channel and various other creative content I write/sell/post on my own outlets, posting on other people's blogs and getting paid, writing my own books, etc.), writing for an income while turning my own thing into a career is what I want to do. It is possible to turn your dream into a reality. Don't give up or listen to other people's negative feedback. If you do what you want to do and follow your own set path, you will be happiest and live the most fruitful life. It is never too late either. You got this. It is time to create your own path!
Saturday, October 22, 2016
The Struggle is Real
Welcome to the 4am episode of Rebs's Rockin Rants! Because I can’t sleep!
The struggle is real... my slogan for quite some time now, especially as a young lady in her mid 20's wanting to be a full-time freelance gig master. As a full-time rideshare driver at 3am on a Friday night/Saturday morning, I should either be driving for Uber (or Lyft), sleeping, or going out. Instead, I feel like contributing to society by writing a story because I am way too physically and mentally exhausted to operate a car and don't want to hurt myself or others. If I could make money just sharing my stories or have this story turn into a million dollars, that would be awesome, but one can dream, right?
Right now, the job market is a pile of poop for me. For reference, I graduated from college a few years ago with a Web Development degree, got a job in my field, realized it wasn't for me, left my sinking ship job, and am trying to switch career paths to something writing-related. I have had tons of trouble getting a new job or many freelance gigs. It may be lack of experience, it may be because I am a very eccentric person and need a certain type of environment to belong into, who knows. Either way, I have been incessantly job hunting since September, 2015 and in between jobs since the end of January, 2016. It is now just about April, 2017 and am still standing strong with no "actual" job. I decided not to count how many interviews I've had (because it's a large number probably well over 30 by now) and every rejection or not call back I receive, I throw it away and keep going.
A quote I've recently written for myself is, "shoot for the stars, even when you feel like you're falling". Right now, I surely feel like I'm falling. I often post Facebook statuses of all of the rejections I've received for failed attempts to land a job, followed by a "hello world, help me find a job" post. I refuse to give up. The struggle exists of not being able to find a job in any field. The struggle exists because I am in between jobs right now, even though it was my choice and I don't have any regrets. I took a risk and I am currently living in it. With the job market being no good, I've been willing to have countless interviews for roles outside of my field of college studies (ex brand marketing, content writer, technical writer); I sit in a room being bombarded with questions and pray I am able project my best self to these people while dressed to impress.
The struggle exists because I now run into occasions where I wonder how I'm going to be able to pay all my bills... and somehow pull it off every time. I even had to ask my parents for help a couple times in order to pay my rent and health insurance. Thankfully, they were able to help me. If I was in the opposite money situation, I'd help anyone in a heartbeat. I hope to be able to return the favor to my parents soon, and I am working my tail off to be able to do so!
Even if I'm struggling money-wise right now, I am lucky to have a roof over my head. I am lucky to have my health. I am lucky to live with 2 people who give a genuine crap about me who I love to pieces. I am lucky to live in Chicago. I could go on for awhile, but I am still wealthy; I may not be wealthy with green pieces of paper that only represent a number, but I am rich with life experiences and knowledge. I still make time to perform and have "somewhat" of a social life. I haven't totally tossed all my hobbies to the side, even though I have had to make plenty of sacrifices lately. If you don't sacrifice, you won't win! However, if you have a roof over your head and loved ones who love you back, you are currently winning at life.
In order to succeed, all you need to do is be a good person and be you. Do your best. That's all you can do! Driving for Uber isn't too bad anyways because the customers are nice, mostly talk to me, and I get to interact with people instead of being alone! A lot of them tell me their life story and I feel that's interesting because I gain knowledge of what the world actually is and means. As much as I dislike driving, I would rather do that than have nothing at all and lose my independence. I refuse to give up until I have what I want, but I also need to live in the present! In order to continue my winning adventures, I will remain thankful for everything I have! In due time, I will find my golden ticket job! Live with no regrets, and you will continue to win the game!
There is a video for this too, which I self-recorded on my computer. Enjoy the video too :)
Video Link: CLICK HERE!!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Weddingriffic Misadventures
Just to preface, I am not and have never been married or engaged... or in a relationship that's lasted longer than a year.
So many people around me are getting married, having kids, moving in with their partners, getting dogs, and settling down; here I am, super single, driving for Uber at insane hours, and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Social media likes to flaunt how picture perfect people’s lives are, especially at peak events. I haven’t been to too many weddings, but unfortunately, the ones I’ve been to haven’t been for my friends and have been quite the misadventure so far! Most of my only positive wedding adventures have consisted of driving passengers for Uber to weddings or to a place to get ready for the wedding.
None of my dearest friends whom I'm close enough with to be invited to their wedding have been married... well... except one of my friends who I've been friends with since I was in 6th grade. She ended up having an oops baby with a man she met at a Jewish overnight camp in Washington state. The catch is, she grew up in Buffalo Grove (Chicago burbs) and he was one of the counselors from Israel. With the baby on the way and them soon getting engaged, they ended up deciding to have their wedding in Israel. Most of my friends are males, so excluding my sister, this would likely have been my only chance to stand up in a wedding (unless she for whatever reason gets married again). Even though I had enough money at the time, I didn't want to attend a wedding where I had little control what I did when I would be spending thousands of dollars to go to Israel... no thanks! Maybe another time!
A year later, I began dating a man who I refer to as "Voldemort" because he was such a jerk bag. He first invited me to a wedding for one of his coworkers 3 weeks after we met. I was like, "um... I haven't known you long enough and don't feel comfortable doing this". About 6 months later, Voldemort was a groomsman in one of my sister's friends weddings and asked me to be his plus one again. I reluctantly decided to go. We drove to Kokomo, Indiana and stayed in a hotel. We stayed at a Motel 6, which wasn't that bad, but not the expensive hotel everyone else stayed at. He was very notorious for starting petty arguments, but he behaved for most of the time. I didn't really know anyone besides my sister, her boyfriend, Voldemort, a couple others I met at the rehearsal dinner, and 1 other person. I proceeded to get comfortably drunk along with some free drinks from the limo since Voldemort was a groomsman. I danced my heart off in my heels and had no care in the world. I even won limbo and proceeded to spin the limbo stick like a staff because I'm a flow artist... even though I was drunk. When the garter toss happened though, I imagined it like the drummer of a rock band tossing his drum sticks or the guitarist tossing his picks. Again, I was still drunk at that point. I caught the garter like I caught a T-shirt tossed by Halestorm (the band) and Voldemort swatted it out of my hand. I was like, "wtf man"; to avoid a further scene, I handed the flowers to a little girl and walked away. Besides for that, the wedding was "aight". I had a food baby from the rehearsal dinner of very much Mexican food and frozen margaritas! Nommity nommity nommity nom!
A year after this wedding, it was time for my cousins to get married. Only this time, I had no plus one and I am not very close with my blood family. I was very close to ditching the wedding completely, but reluctantly decided to go for the free food and open bar. I had an ominous feeling about going and proceeded to pregame pretty hard to take the edge off of everything. I felt very beautiful on the outside and was excited to wear a brand new dress I bought. After the ceremony, my uncle decided to make a "neighborhood friendly comment" of, "oh, you look great" to me and, "oh you look even better" to my sister. After that, I mentally checked out of the wedding and was counting down the hours to go home. I stuffed my face with appetizers and drinks until I had the largest food baby ever. At least I got to feel fancy for a night and eat fancy hotel food that looked like I was eating at a 5 star luxury restaurant. Yay for being able to be classy and pretend to be rich for a night. My mom was showing me off like a display in a China cabinet. As a dancer, I didn't even feel comfortable dancing. I was beyond miserable and no amount of alcohol, food, or other substance could make me feel better. Once dessert was over, I bounced like a ninja and said that, "the alcohol was making me sick", though if I drank anymore I would have been sick. My friends picked me up from the train station after I made my escape and proceeded to comfort me the rest of the night, because my mood was in "black face land", meaning the worst possible mood I could be in. Seeing them was the highlight of my night.
Hopefully the next wedding I attend, which I hope is for one of my friends, I'll be able to ring the bell of joy instead of want to stick my head into my pillow crying. Marriage is supposed to be happy and I can't wait to be at a wedding where I can dance the night away, bring my LED light flow props to mesmerize my friends, and be merry!
So many people around me are getting married, having kids, moving in with their partners, getting dogs, and settling down; here I am, super single, driving for Uber at insane hours, and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Social media likes to flaunt how picture perfect people’s lives are, especially at peak events. I haven’t been to too many weddings, but unfortunately, the ones I’ve been to haven’t been for my friends and have been quite the misadventure so far! Most of my only positive wedding adventures have consisted of driving passengers for Uber to weddings or to a place to get ready for the wedding.
None of my dearest friends whom I'm close enough with to be invited to their wedding have been married... well... except one of my friends who I've been friends with since I was in 6th grade. She ended up having an oops baby with a man she met at a Jewish overnight camp in Washington state. The catch is, she grew up in Buffalo Grove (Chicago burbs) and he was one of the counselors from Israel. With the baby on the way and them soon getting engaged, they ended up deciding to have their wedding in Israel. Most of my friends are males, so excluding my sister, this would likely have been my only chance to stand up in a wedding (unless she for whatever reason gets married again). Even though I had enough money at the time, I didn't want to attend a wedding where I had little control what I did when I would be spending thousands of dollars to go to Israel... no thanks! Maybe another time!
A year later, I began dating a man who I refer to as "Voldemort" because he was such a jerk bag. He first invited me to a wedding for one of his coworkers 3 weeks after we met. I was like, "um... I haven't known you long enough and don't feel comfortable doing this". About 6 months later, Voldemort was a groomsman in one of my sister's friends weddings and asked me to be his plus one again. I reluctantly decided to go. We drove to Kokomo, Indiana and stayed in a hotel. We stayed at a Motel 6, which wasn't that bad, but not the expensive hotel everyone else stayed at. He was very notorious for starting petty arguments, but he behaved for most of the time. I didn't really know anyone besides my sister, her boyfriend, Voldemort, a couple others I met at the rehearsal dinner, and 1 other person. I proceeded to get comfortably drunk along with some free drinks from the limo since Voldemort was a groomsman. I danced my heart off in my heels and had no care in the world. I even won limbo and proceeded to spin the limbo stick like a staff because I'm a flow artist... even though I was drunk. When the garter toss happened though, I imagined it like the drummer of a rock band tossing his drum sticks or the guitarist tossing his picks. Again, I was still drunk at that point. I caught the garter like I caught a T-shirt tossed by Halestorm (the band) and Voldemort swatted it out of my hand. I was like, "wtf man"; to avoid a further scene, I handed the flowers to a little girl and walked away. Besides for that, the wedding was "aight". I had a food baby from the rehearsal dinner of very much Mexican food and frozen margaritas! Nommity nommity nommity nom!
A year after this wedding, it was time for my cousins to get married. Only this time, I had no plus one and I am not very close with my blood family. I was very close to ditching the wedding completely, but reluctantly decided to go for the free food and open bar. I had an ominous feeling about going and proceeded to pregame pretty hard to take the edge off of everything. I felt very beautiful on the outside and was excited to wear a brand new dress I bought. After the ceremony, my uncle decided to make a "neighborhood friendly comment" of, "oh, you look great" to me and, "oh you look even better" to my sister. After that, I mentally checked out of the wedding and was counting down the hours to go home. I stuffed my face with appetizers and drinks until I had the largest food baby ever. At least I got to feel fancy for a night and eat fancy hotel food that looked like I was eating at a 5 star luxury restaurant. Yay for being able to be classy and pretend to be rich for a night. My mom was showing me off like a display in a China cabinet. As a dancer, I didn't even feel comfortable dancing. I was beyond miserable and no amount of alcohol, food, or other substance could make me feel better. Once dessert was over, I bounced like a ninja and said that, "the alcohol was making me sick", though if I drank anymore I would have been sick. My friends picked me up from the train station after I made my escape and proceeded to comfort me the rest of the night, because my mood was in "black face land", meaning the worst possible mood I could be in. Seeing them was the highlight of my night.
Hopefully the next wedding I attend, which I hope is for one of my friends, I'll be able to ring the bell of joy instead of want to stick my head into my pillow crying. Marriage is supposed to be happy and I can't wait to be at a wedding where I can dance the night away, bring my LED light flow props to mesmerize my friends, and be merry!
Monday, April 4, 2016
Quarter Life Crisis: Reflections and Realizations From Being In Your Twenties
When you reach a certain point in your life, you end up reflecting and wondering where you are and where you want to go. If you think everything is crappy and feel like you're going nowhere, chances are it's not true. If you have independence, income, talents, drive, and a support system, you're doing a lot better than you think. If you have a college degree, you're definitely doing better than you think. If you're young, you don't have to have all your shit together. If you feel like other people who are younger than you are finding success faster than you, you have to realize how different their life and journey are than yours. It’s impossible to replicate someone else’s situation and need to accept your own circumstances. As long as you’re making and recognizing forward progress, you’re on the path to success. Everyone finds themselves, lands ideal opportunities, and realizes their dreams at a different pace. It’s ok if your success comes a little bit later than someone else. Just make sure to keep trying, keep adventuring, and continue being willing to accept a possible chance of failure. At times, you may feel lost and have no idea which direction to proceed in at the crossroad. It's ok to question where you are. It's ok to question your faith and where to place it, especially if your parents forced religion down your throat. It's ok to be uncertain of where you want your career path to go. It's ok to fail and fall on your ass as long as you maintain an awareness and refuse to give up. And it's definitely ok to be single and focus on yourself. If you want to change the world and have an idea of how to do it, keep believing in your idea and working on your idea and it will come to life. Patience and resilience are the answer. But be careful, because even superheroes have limits! Just don't be afraid to live and use your heart and intuition as your guide! Make sure you share the love, too!
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Friendship Presents
One way to piss off the friendliest person in the world
Is to call their friends stupid.
Is to call their friends stupid.
People are like pieces of paper.
You can choose to beautify and hold onto them like a sacred prayer scroll,
Or you can use them as gum wrappers and throw them away.
You can choose to beautify and hold onto them like a sacred prayer scroll,
Or you can use them as gum wrappers and throw them away.
When you reach a certain age,
It becomes time to be more selective with who you want to include in your life,
Especially if you have a history of people treating you less than adequately.
It becomes time to be more selective with who you want to include in your life,
Especially if you have a history of people treating you less than adequately.
At one point, it was possible to think about being the most popular kid in school
With everyone as your friend,
But would you rather have 100 shards of diamond
Or one large stone?
With everyone as your friend,
But would you rather have 100 shards of diamond
Or one large stone?
When people from the past come creeping back and seeking a second chance,
It’s wise to stare with a watchful eye
To ensure no shots are fired.
It’s wise to stare with a watchful eye
To ensure no shots are fired.
Recently,
I went to the beercade with my best friends and wanted to revisit an old friend from high school who I hadn't seen in awhile.
We were all going to hang out afterwards,
But an honest mistake and miscommunication happened,
Causing the plans to fail.
I went to the beercade with my best friends and wanted to revisit an old friend from high school who I hadn't seen in awhile.
We were all going to hang out afterwards,
But an honest mistake and miscommunication happened,
Causing the plans to fail.
He called me from a number I didn’t recognize because his phone battery died.
I asked who’s calling me and he responded with a condescending tone.
Strike 1.
I explained the situation and apologized. He yelled at me and called me stupid.
Strike 2.
I explained the situation a second time with clarification. He called my friends stupid.
Strike 3.
The three strikes and you’re out rule took shape.
I’ve been called stupid enough times for my own good,
But like the protagonist character in the cartoons would say,
“You can hurt me, but you can never hurt my friends”.
And in a flash, I turned into a ghost,
For this person to never find a trace of me.
But like the protagonist character in the cartoons would say,
“You can hurt me, but you can never hurt my friends”.
And in a flash, I turned into a ghost,
For this person to never find a trace of me.
It is time to put my foot down
As I am done accepting dung wrapped in present boxes from the naysayers.
No one deserves less than love.
Choose your crew wisely!
As I am done accepting dung wrapped in present boxes from the naysayers.
No one deserves less than love.
Choose your crew wisely!
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Adulting to Find the Rainbow
Ring ring!
The alarm yells at me approximately 16 times until I dreadfully roll and groan myself out of bed...
"My bed is so warm" I tell myself as I reluctantly shut off my mattress heater my darling purchased for me...
I wake the fuck up with just enough time to finish my "morning routine" of throwing on my mask, grabbing my shit, and darting out the door to catch the bus,
Trying not to be late,
Just like the school days...
Except this time the stakes aren't just a letter grade and a sticker of achievement...
And then you end up running late anyway...
After waiting for the adult school bus, it eventually decides to show up...
You tap your ventra card 4 times until it finally decides to register on the screen and you sit down and stare at Lake Michigan, try not to fall asleep, and await for your traffic-filled ride to finally subside...
But it's not over yet, time to transfer to the train...
At least the bus isn't like a sack of peanuts, packed tightly to the brim without air in the bag...
You tap your ventra card 4 times until it finally decides to register on the screen and you sit down and stare at Lake Michigan, try not to fall asleep, and await for your traffic-filled ride to finally subside...
But it's not over yet, time to transfer to the train...
At least the bus isn't like a sack of peanuts, packed tightly to the brim without air in the bag...
Train time...
It's just two stops,
But one vehicle is more than enough...
It's just two stops,
But one vehicle is more than enough...
Two stops later it's time for the windy walk of about 4 blocks...
Seven minutes later, I arrive at desk land, ninja-ing my way in the office so no one notices my presence as I am late again...
I sit down to see a prevalence of grey,
Hoping to pass the day
And find the fray... of all the work I should have on my plate...
But no gatekeeper will be in *my* way!
Hoping to pass the day
And find the fray... of all the work I should have on my plate...
But no gatekeeper will be in *my* way!
The hours pass... 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock... phone call time... or should I say "spacing out time" because we work with offshore people and I never have anything to say...
12 o'clock and I'm counting down until I'm ready to eat lunch...
My notebook is out, my software is open, and so is Google hangouts on my phone because I'm utterly bored and lonely and my boyfriend keeps me sane from the suburbs as I sit all alone in my colorless box all day...
12 o'clock and I'm counting down until I'm ready to eat lunch...
My notebook is out, my software is open, and so is Google hangouts on my phone because I'm utterly bored and lonely and my boyfriend keeps me sane from the suburbs as I sit all alone in my colorless box all day...
One trip to stuffing my face land, walkie land, and going to Whole Foods for free samples land later, it's time to attempt the grind once again...
I'd rather see a rainbow than a rut, but I must make myself a living...
I get a lot done, but not always work-related items...
Because my view of making a difference is having the power to show people how to climb the rope and hold up your weight, not the capacity to down 40 ounces of caffeine and two water bottles just to survive... and not knock out at my desk...
Because my view of making a difference is having the power to show people how to climb the rope and hold up your weight, not the capacity to down 40 ounces of caffeine and two water bottles just to survive... and not knock out at my desk...
Boredom strikes again, but that's nothing new...
After a conversation with resilience's shrine, it is time to peace the fuck out of this joint, heading back on the train towards the opposite of mundane... where opportunity lies and I have a place where I can fly.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
All of my Blogs
Now that I've been blogging for a decent while and am currently in a state of trying to establish myself, here are the following blogs (and websites) I am currently authoring and working on making bigger and stronger:
1. Main Blog -- dbzmaron.blogspot.com
2. IT Field Success -- itfieldsuccess.blogspot.com
3. #adultproblems -- hashtagadultproblems.blogspot.com
4. Anime Luvers -- maronsanime.blogspot.com
5. Random Thought Blurbs -- randomthoughtblurbs.blogspot.com
6. Healthspiration Station - healthspirationstation.blogspot.com
2. IT Field Success -- itfieldsuccess.blogspot.com
3. #adultproblems -- hashtagadultproblems.blogspot.com
4. Anime Luvers -- maronsanime.blogspot.com
5. Random Thought Blurbs -- randomthoughtblurbs.blogspot.com
6. Healthspiration Station - healthspirationstation.blogspot.com
7. Your Friendly Neighborhood Uber Driver -- rebsuberdriver.blogspot.com
8. Cheapity Cheap Noms -- cheapnoms.blogspot.com
8. Cheapity Cheap Noms -- cheapnoms.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Welcome to #adultproblems - New Blog
I have a new blog (yay!) called hashtagadultproblems, which is the new forum for people to post their adult-related problems, followed by #adultproblems
Here's the URL:
http://hashtagadultproblems.blogspot.com/2014/07/welcome-to-adultproblems.html
Happy adult-ing! The funny complaints are for hilariousness and humor only! Enjoy!
Here's the URL:
http://hashtagadultproblems.blogspot.com/2014/07/welcome-to-adultproblems.html
Happy adult-ing! The funny complaints are for hilariousness and humor only! Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)