Where is Success When You Can't See It? Life as a Twenty Something

Ranting, the verbal activity I seem to do the best at… but it sometimes annoys my friends, so I generally keep it to myself.

A common theme that comes up in my life is how to find yourself as a twenty something and function as an “independent” adult. Something you unfortunately need to do as an adult is pay bills. I left college with almost zero knowledge of money management, a skill I wish was taught in a remedial college course.

When I graduated from college, I thought I wanted to be a Web Developer, get a job, stay there forever, move up in the ladder, and go from there. Not so long after I started my job, I was certain I was a bit too free spirited for Corporate America and needed to be in a place where I’m able to create. I did everything in my power to keep the job alive, but my will caved and I decided to jump out the window, with my parachute in tact, thankfully knowing where the ground was. I knew I was going to get screwed over at my job and marked on my calendar the day I knew would be the end of the road. Leading up to that day, I did everything in my power to get a new job. With no luck, one of my dear friends I live with told me my car would pass an Uber inspection and criteria and should become a driver. As reluctant as I was to do so, I did my research, gave it a test run, and felt decent. A few days before my “doomsday”, I knew being a driver and a free bird were in my fate, and handed my manager a 2 weeks notice letter.

Fast forward 8 months of being an Uber Driver and I am officially ready to throw stones and look for something else. The first thing is I feel like is slavery still exists. I don’t mean the stuff you saw 100 years ago; it’s more under the table. People are so damn greedy; the head honchos only want money and productivity. If you’re not wringing everything out of yourself and not making enough money, you’re not doing well enough, was a major theme of my last job, and even ridesharing. For starters, I have to pay for my own gas and repairs, as well as they take 25% of my fares right off the bat as a “commission” to them for using their service. Lately, I’ve had days where I’ve made as little as $7.50 per hour, which is less than the legal Chicago minimum wage. Thankfully, that’s pretty rare, but I’d drive overnight, drive myself into not sleeping, drive myself into depression and isolation, and drive my knees and energy down the toilet. I’d be out as many as 29 hours at a time, just to make sure I “make it” to my next bill payment and have a little extra for groceries. I have to wear a knee brace while driving because with my car, you have to push harder on the gas pedal; lately, my other knee has been starting to give me trouble too. I have barely been able to see my friends lately, including the ones I live with (it’s been a bit more under control now though). Those I am close with, I would bombard them with texts of how tired I was, how shitty I felt, or some sort of stress or anxiety-related thing was bothering me. Thanks for bearing with me, guys! I’ve had to decrease my attendance at open mic nites, karate classes, my “nerd” group called, “Belegarth”, everything, just to pay my bills and get by. I even created an “emergency fund” when I knew I was forsure going to leave my job, which I recently exhausted all of it.

But here I am. I am still willing to search for a better opportunity for myself, still willing to drive and do what it takes to make money (and still paying all my bills on time), and I am even here today. For that, I am successful!

Quarter Life Crisis: Reflections and Realizations From Being In Your Twenties

When you reach a certain point in your life, you end up reflecting and wondering where you are and where you want to go. If you think everything is crappy and feel like you're going nowhere, chances are it's not true. If you have independence, income, talents, drive, and a support system, you're doing a lot better than you think. If you have a college degree, you're definitely doing better than you think. If you're young, you don't have to have all your shit together. If you feel like other people who are younger than you are finding success faster than you, you have to realize how different their life and journey are than yours. It’s impossible to replicate someone else’s situation and need to accept your own circumstances. As long as you’re making and recognizing forward progress, you’re on the path to success. Everyone finds themselves, lands ideal opportunities, and realizes their dreams at a different pace. It’s ok if your success comes a little bit later than someone else. Just make sure to keep trying, keep adventuring, and continue being willing to accept a possible chance of failure. At times, you may feel lost and have no idea which direction to proceed in at the crossroad. It's ok to question where you are. It's ok to question your faith and where to place it, especially if your parents forced religion down your throat. It's ok to be uncertain of where you want your career path to go. It's ok to fail and fall on your ass as long as you maintain an awareness and refuse to give up. And it's definitely ok to be single and focus on yourself. If you want to change the world and have an idea of how to do it, keep believing in your idea and working on your idea and it will come to life. Patience and resilience are the answer. But be careful, because even superheroes have limits! Just don't be afraid to live and use your heart and intuition as your guide! Make sure you share the love, too!

Be Grateful

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Plenty of people may have lots to complain about... whether it's hating your job, bad relationships, getting a speeding ticket, tripping over yourself clumsily, missing the train, those are first world problems. Imagine if you didn't have a job, had no money or fallback, no room for life progression or advancement, didn't have loved ones, access to medical care, food, clean water, shelter, or were so ill you couldn't even get up to walk to the bathroom to pee. Imagine if you had nothing and were stuck on the streets. I am surely guilty of complaining about first world problems, but I wish we could all take a moment and be thankful for everything we have... every opportunity, all of the education we've received from intelligent teachers and professors, having loved ones who have helped you to rise from the holes dug down to China. Just take a moment and be thankful that you can walk and are healthy enough to pursue your daily life activities, regardless of being in a mundane 9-5 grind. Be thankful to have the means to survive and thrive. Take a moment, appreciate being alive, and be thankful for every breath you're able to take above ground! I'm always down for volunteering and giving back and if anyone wants to join in on some fun, hit me up. We're all in this world to make a difference, so let's make every day you get out of bed count! It’s time to rise and shine!

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