Eat Those Words

A new addition to my spoken word collection, I verbally and artistically express my feelings towards how I feel when my parents continuously try to put me down all the time... I get through it nonetheless, but it's how I express myself to continue to keep myself happy, sane, and thriving!

I called my parents "dude" because it's what I'd say to anyone else who talks smack to me. Parents and elders deserve the utmost respect until they disrespect you. In this case, "dude" has a demeaning connotation to represent how I feel towards them! It was also used because I was going to originally writing this about someone (a guy) who jokingly called me "Snorlax" and "Rosie O'Donnell" (allusions to being fat), but something my parents said to me before I went out with my friends last night far surpassed me taking offense to someone's jokes...

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Dude, you're out of your mind!

How would you feel
To feel dead inside?

Why would you dispel hatred through simple vocabulary?
Publicly spilling my lack of character
Through representation of my salary
Saying how even though my hard work brings me green
It still doesn't make me strong

All you do is look at my lack of xyz
Not what I do have
Because you always want to undermine my strengths
In order to revolve around the lack of yours
While I still hold onto mine…

You better eat those putrid words
While falling into the ashes
Alone…

Do you know what?
I'm "sorry" that I haven't molded into the woman YOU want me to be
But I'm slowly evolving through my own realm into the woman I WANT to be
And I'll light your pathetic evil on fire
Shining through my own light

Why? The ailing heart mutters
Dude, I got three things on you:
1. My clean dignity
2. Traits and qualifications that decorate a resume and leave you starstruck
And 3. Enough green to more than satisfy me for the rest of my life

I may carry a 60 pound bag on my back
But there is one thing I will never be
And that is broke
There is one thing I will never feel
And that is depressed
Because you will never drag me into the pit of despair with you

I'll be makin' it rain harder than you EVER will
Because my baggage makes me stronger
Take it or leave it!

To those who wish to solely inflict pain
Even to loved ones
You'll go down hell's path
Where the devil will happily be waiting to plan your demise

To those who live through love
You'll go down rainbow road
A cloud will soothingly carry you towards the heavens
And I'll take you under my wing

But to you, my friend
Family, friend, or foe
You better bite your tongue
Gun up
And eat those putred words
And quit playin' the fool
Because I'm not your problem child
I'm not your failure
Your idiot
Your loser
The one who possesses evil vibes
The problem starter, drama carrier, whatever
I'm your DAUGHTER
Which is something I bet you can't fathom…
Because to you, the word FAMILY means NOTHING to you…
So I'll just go my own way
Along the path of transformation…

Whatever you think of me
I think better of myself
You'll always know that
While you burst in flames
And I rise to the top!

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If you want some more inspiration or find out when I post my next poem or blog post, like me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebsMcduxler

Stronger

Whenever I'm in one of the lowest possible moods while feeling as awful as can be, I talk to someone I trust dearly who restores all the strength in me. It's like my guardian angel who's watching over me flies down and gives me a hug, making me feel completely restored and as good as new. This is how I can best describe this immensely wonderful feeling:

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Sorrow, stress, sadness
Tearing my mind apart
From the start

Feeling like a lost puppy inside
Yearning for answers I cry, close my eyes, and pray
Blindly pondering

The thought process ceases and I open my eyes
Searching for aid
Love is what I truly desire...

Debating the purpose of hurt
The purpose is that there is no purpose
The wicked feed on the despair
Crushing the weak's withering soul
I am stronger than that!

Slowly uncovering my eyes
Letting them see the trickling daylight
In the middle of the night
Angelic wings and majestic hands wrap around my heart
I sense strength!

Beautiful angel, sensing me from afar
Mysterious powers annihilate ailments
Delivering love and comfort
Inspiration is now at my fingertips
I am stronger!

All power is restored
Answers appear in due time
The cloudy day goes away
My mind is at bay
I am strong!

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If you want some more inspiration or find out when I post my next poem or blog post, like me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebsMcduxler

The Hero's Way

With this one, I want to empower as many people as possible to be able to stand up to bullies. They may be formidable foes, but easily able to be defeated with the use of your strength stashed in your heart. You will always have other people to support you and they will no matter what be your allies. Just be yourself and they will back down to you because you are in essence stronger than they are as long as you realize that concept! Those who go through a lot in their lives, as you get through it, your world around you will see you as a strong-willed hero who always keeps and passes on a positive attitude to all.

Yes, this one will be a part of my spoken word collection as well!

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I gotta get them negative feelings offa my mind
One more time!
They're straining through my head
Pulsating through my heart
And going out the other end…

Causing tremors within my own two feet
My toes tremble and I begin to feel like I'm falling
I want to move the way I want
Barely able to withstand the powerful bashing blow
It wanders through my brain as I remain upright
Strong with the will of steel
Sturdy as sound
Tenacious as wind

The power within a woman short in stature
Is as immense as Iron Man
Willing to tackle the world
While handing out baskets of love to all
Soaring like an eagle
Exhibiting her own flare to society
Going in a separate direction but meeting right at the end

Running into a flock of angry bulls...
Creatures who prey on the winded ones
And yearn to annihilate all
Mainly those who possess a small aura
But the enemy shall never win...

These bulls are standing on the other side
Always bound to criticize
Trying to shrink me down to size

Yet I am oh so wise
During the resistance of the verbal attack
With my own mental bat
Showcasing the skill of the dragon
Now I can go home bragging!

Owning a vibe of an uplifting note
Seeing it moves chakra into the heart
Purifying the soul
Making me whole
While my heart is never cold…
Even towards an infectious disease!
While having an army of allies on your side!

I need to resolve those bumps I sense along my chest
Then I'll feel at my best
Along with all the rest
Because I put my skills to the test
And stood up for what's right

To extinguish the flames
Causing a world full of pain
It isn't just a game
It's a way of life people have to go through…
But those who successfully pass under the tunnel without backing down
Will never see the darkness of defeat
And will always inherently realize
That they have the art of the hero's way

To tear down the evil and restore the goodness
Resolve the tattered mind
Patching it all up tight
Sealing it up alright
Ensuring you’re ready to take flight
And soar through the skies with victory’s cape!

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If you want some more inspiration or find out when I post my next poem or blog post, like me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebsMcduxler

Bored

Since I was deathly bored in an English class that was on homosexuality, why not try to come up with a colorful way to explain how I felt in class that day?

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Emptiness
Finding your surroundings meaningless
Carefully analyzing the mundane
Sitting alone
Staring at the world
Time elapses

Fundamentals make no sense
Searching for entertainment sources
Nothingness
Your world feeling dull at your feet
Despite all-over color

Yearning for sleep
Space us your new world
You're stuck in a deep sink hole
In a state of dark
Mind possessing thoughts drip down your spine
Wanting more
Trapped in a vacuum

The emptiness will soon drift away
Painting your heart with color
Everything lit up in clear sight
Light so bright
More powerful than your might
Peace established once again
Freedom restored
Joy takes flight
Overcoming darkness
Who's portrait is now erased
Bored you are no longer...

Writing a Tanka

Me and my experimentation of poetry decided to perform a Google search on "how to write award winning poems" because I was just curious and the entrepreneur in me is looking for some other ways to make some extra money. I stumbled upon a wiki how page displaying other literary poetry styles. Since I never abide by any styles and just go freestyle, I decided to attempt to write my version of a TANKA poem at about 4:30am and I did this in less than 5 minutes. Writing somehow comes natural and flows from my brain onto my computer screen... I wish programming came that easy to me!

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If you have no idea what a Tanka is:

There are 5 lines that don't "usually" rhyme. Since poetry is an art, you can do it a little bit anyways!

The first and third lines have 5 syllables (which you "have" to abide by)

The second, fourth, and fifth lines have 7 syllables (which you also "have" to abide by in order to utilize this style)

The third line "should" be a turning point

The first three lines give one image and the last three give another image (yes, there is overlap)

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Welp, here is my attempt at using an actual literary style. I wrote about not generally using other literary styles, but being open to trying it anyways:

Writing a Tanka
Not a fan of other styles
I write my own way
Always doing what I want
Might as well give this a shot!

Why Anime Shouldn't Possess a Negative Stigma

I'm sure many people can admit to watching Dragonball Z when they were younger. Liking anime shouldn't be frowned upon. I don't judge and people should be allowed to express themselves how they want without fear of ridicule because it's what makes them happy. If you want to walk around in cat ears and a tail (or some kind of other costume) and consider yourself an "otaku", as long as you aren't completely obnoxious or a jerk about it, by all means, go for it! I will even admit that if I had time in college, I would have joined Belegarth (the "medieval combat club"). I can't even begin to tell you how many people gave that group odd stares, cruel smirks, and vicious chuckles when waking past them on the quad. It saddens me to see that people get laughed at and judged just for having fun in their own unique way.

I have been watching it guilt free since I was about 10 years old. Years later, I am still catching myself watching it in my free time. This time, I am realizing that I have a greater understanding for the concepts depicted in each show. For example, Gravitation displays homosexuality and .Hack//Sign displays mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. These are topics brought up in every day conversation and important to be well-versed in. Anime is just like any other show you would find on TV, except it has origins from Japan and is animated. I don't think it's "weird" at all. Better yet, I'd even want to go to a large convention (ex ACEN) if I had more people who'd want to go with me. I also think that anime is better than a lot of shows that are prominent among the latest gossip, such as Jersey Shore. I also think that having the protagonist end up in a fantasy land from being flushed down the toilet is hilarious.

Anime fosters the creative mind imagine deeper than normal because many of these situations are based off of fictional situations with the characters having personalities resembling what a certain type of person would be like. Also, drawing anime and good cosplay are extremely difficult to do and require a creative mind. Unfortunately, society doesn't consider anime to be "normal" and just assumes that anime watchers are "different". You often find these people being the ones who are picked on at school, which is extremely unfortunate. It makes no sense to me. In reality, I have found people who are open about watching anime to be more genuine and comfortable with themselves compared to those who are afraid of what others will think and keep that interesting tidbit under wraps. People are doing what makes them happy, which is all that should matter in the end! Disregard society's norms and what people think you should or should not do to "fit in". For all who stopped watching anime because people made fun of them, I am so sorry. I think anime is one of the most incredible forms of media out there and I want to promote as many people as possible to watch it without feeling ashamed of doing so!

Douse the Despair Short Story Intro

Yeah, I have been in a reflective mood lately and spontaneously decided to write a short story about my apartment mishap to finally just get it off my chest and be able to 100% move on from it. Long story short, I had a nightmare of a living situation for two years and was basically confined to my room the entire time. I spent those years finding any way to run away from my apartment for good, but fortunately enjoyed virtually everything else during that time. 

I wrote a poem yesterday called "Douse the Despair" that basically discussed my outlook on going back and forth between my apartment and home... both of which were awful. It was like me struggling to maintain optimism through turmoil. With that being said, I decided to keep the title the same and draw out the poem in writing terms.

Here's the poem: http://dbzmaron.blogspot.com/2013/05/douse-despair.html

In my intro, I decided to centralize everything around me (Shira) and the roommate (Kylie). The roommate's boyfriend (who basically freeloaded and lived there too) will be introduced later.

Don't mess with me or I will write about you ;) Jk! I am NOT an advocate for Taylor Swift's writing style, nor am I a fan, but that just seems to be how my mind has been working lately (except I'm not writing about an ex boyfriend of mine in a negative way)!

Enjoy!

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"Go to your room!" You hear these words in your childhood days when being punished for frolicking in the creek and coming home dirty. A welcoming place known as home would be the epitome of intensified feelings of solitary confinement in a prison cell.

In the crazy college town of Average where crushed beer bottles on the sidewalk are a commonality, apartment life for college students is one of the most sought after experiences one can ever hope for… except for Shira. Yearning to meet new people, she asks a girl she barely knows, Kylie, to live with her. Shira's optimism and cheerful nature would only place her in a toxic environment which she constantly compares to living in hell. When she would go back to her hometown on occasion, she would be greeted by her monstrous parents and retreat her room for safety. Shira first moving into the apartment was like walking into a room with vicious animals greeting her at the door. She felt very unwelcome, put her belongings in the remaining crevices, walked into her bedroom, and shut the door. Kylie's initial cordial, friendly, and manipulative nature prompted Shira to decide to stay at the apartment for a second year. After resigning the lease, a new home turned into a confining witches den set up for Shira's two year punishment…