I've been the only girl in several classes or groups and have decided to share my experiences to inspire women to follow their hearts even in male-dominatd endeavors. Enjoy!
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I’ve been there several times before, especially in my late teens and twenties, but how would you feel if you walked into a classroom or activity and you were the only girl (or close)? In a world where women end up being the minority, underrepresented, or the less recognized demographic (well, if you fully identify as a female like I do), it is more common to see more men than women in most places at one time. Places such as the business world, IT, engineering, math, science, the military, football, etc., are comprised of significantly more males. Would that discourage you to do the activity if you were the only female (or male, if that happened)?
I don’t want to let being a female in a male-dominated world discourage me from following my dreams or pursuing hobbies or endeavors I’m interested in just because I’m going to be the only girl. It was a little nerve-wracking at first, not going to lie, but giving it a chance was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Currently or in the recent past, I have been in a significant (more than 80-90% male-female ratio) minority at work, the IT department at school, karate, and my swordfighting group, Belegarth (especially for combatants like myself). I also am an avid Super Smash Brothers player, Dance Dance Revolution player, metalhead, and giant nerd. I haven’t seen any super talented female Smash or DDR players (especially on Youtube), and most of the metal music concerts I’ve attended had more men than women.
For me, I see gender as still being another person with a different set of hormones, private parts, and fashion styles. From my experiences, being the only girl has led me to being accepted, blending into the environment, and being the same part of the class as a man is. Getting hit on sometimes happens too. No one really sees me as different just because I have long hair and like makeup. No one really treats me different either. Well, maybe I’ll get a phone number or two depending on the age range of whoever I’m around. Regardless, I am still seen as another person in the group or class.
In most cases, I am given the same responsibilities and participate in the same activities as men. I am not ignored in my classes, and sometimes even given a little extra attention to keep me motivated. It may feel a little weird, but after having experienced this so many times, I’m just like “oh... well ok”, and go on with my life. I’m thankful to not be segregated against for being a woman and told to go to the “girl’s only club”, which likely wouldn’t exist. Another thing I am most blessed about is despite my history of being bullied, I do not get picked on or seen as less (intelligent) than men. The only difference I’ve seen in treatment is that in contact sports, men will be respectful of lack of size and be extra polite (in general) out of chivalry’s sake. They won’t go easy on you, but won’t pound you into the ground either, especially if you’re a small person like me. In certain athletic competitions, you may get separated for your gender, but that’s normal. I would not want to spar against a man whose 6’6 and 300 pounds where I’m 5’2 and less than half of their weight… no thank you, I would not like to get hurt! I value my safety, and I’m sure you do too!
Probably the only place I’ve encountered any difficulty is in a very conservative (corporate) workplace. It may be more difficult to emerge as a woman, especially in technology, but thankfully there are women empowerment groups all over the place (inside and outside of work) to join, as well as several worldwide movements to jump on the bandwagon for. Finding a mentor always helps too (or someone to guide you). I have participated and volunteered in several women empowerment activities and I believe they help foster connections among other women; in some of these, I’ve held a mentorship or leadership role and it makes me feel like I’m able to make a difference and inspire other women to be proud to enjoy and flaunt their passions and true selves, as well as finding their greatest potentials. Who cares if you’re going to be the only girl down the road? You have a plethora of support from all over the place! Also, in the IT department in college during my senior year, I was the president of the club. When I was in the department, the director told me there were 91% males, yet I was still the face of the department. No one was like, “oh, you’re a girl”. I was very well respected and able to spread my wings without a problem, while making a difference and showing the world that women can represent themselves and be a powerful driving force in technology (or any other STEM field for that matter).
The main reason I want to discuss this is to encourage women (or those who identify as female) to not feel discouraged by their gender if they find themselves liking things “only men” should like. That would be called a stereotype. It would be like saying boys can’t like playing with dolls or girls can’t like playing with cars. Who cares if it’s a patriarchy! I am proud to be a woman and I don’t care if not many other women share the same interests as me, because they are my interests. Hopefully, women will be more inclined to show their faces in male-dominated activities, but for now, screw stereotypes and “trying to fit in”. No one has to hide just for having interests different than the norm. I like making websites. I like video games. I like contact sports and martial arts. I will continue to have the strength to be my badass self and do me! I hope other women can be aware it’s ok to be the only girl. You are not and will never be alone! There are plenty of other only girls out there. Just be you! That’s the best way to do it!
