Sunday, March 16, 2014

Epic Chinese Buffet Adventures

So... a bunch of my friends have kept telling me that I should do standup. I have no problem in front of any sort of crowd, but I figured the best way I can portray being funny is a mashup between spoken word poetry and my crazy nerdy randomness. This story is derived from my two friends and I just randomly being in the mood to drive to a Chinese buffet one day and we eventually got there and indulged in Asian food and sushi goodness, so enjoy our crazy epic adventures!



So just imagine you and three of your closest friends sitting in a room
You know, just on any old Saturday night in the middle of a wintery March…
Sitting on a couch, playing some smash, chilling out, having a good time, ambient music, good vibes…
Everyone is in touch with nature in some way, shape or form…
Some in the form of delirium, others in the form of sleeplessness, and others in the form of full blown consciousness…

WHAT!?!?

Like… being fully conscious,
Is that something that's SUPPOSED TO BLOW YOUR MIND OR SOMETHING?

DUH!
Like… What ever happened
To just being able to walk on the street
On any other Saturday night
And not seeing obnoxious drunk people just meandering down the streets…

Some are minding their own business
Other are tuned out into their own little alien world of theirs
There are even some crazy enough to walk down the streets and call you a whore and call you out and judge you just for being yourself…

WHAT!?!?!

Am I BLOWING YOUR MIND or something?

We just need to be fine-tuned to ourselves and not be strapped into some false sense of reality that we humans call distortion, but society calls it fucking up…
Meanwhile, we're all just trying to find ourselves in a place we call earth when the only perception of reality that we have is through our own eyes that started in the eyes of creation…

People need to act all professional, but what even is professional?
It seems to be a fine line between insanity and jaded with a touch of ginger, unless you know how to make a tunnel underground and run fast like Sonic the Hedgehog to barely escape trouble…
It seems like everyone just comes in every day… and while some seem to have a clear goal in mind, others just seem to be clunking around, yet they've been at the working place for years on end…
You wonder how they got to that position in life and you set yourself out to determine whether or not you truly want that to be your fate…
But as you grow up, you gradually know how to string your fate together in to exactly everything you want in such an intricate way…
Everyone just walks around so gingerly, passing each other in the halls, just all that smalltalk, and maybe that "asking for a cup of coffee" to see how the other one is doing and how they continue to bask in their success every day…
You just walk along on your own merry way and take their tips and have a nice day because you know where success is and need to find it your own way…

WHAT?!?!?

Does SUCCESS BLOW YOUR MIND or something?

To top it off, if you want to bask in some success…
Then imagine a guy and two girls driving along in a salsa red soccer mom car
In a little secret town that feels like just another college town
And it's just a transgender guy, a white girl, and a big white guy just roaming around, in search for the Buffet that is oh so sacred to us at that point in time
And we eventually get there after having to turn around like 6 times because we were derping around and just passed it…

WHOOPS…

SO we eventually end up getting there at some point about fifteen minutes later all safe and sound, just like we beat the secret Mario level…
Oh yeah, that's right….
We SERIOUSLY saw Mario when we were driving along, NO JOKE…
But it was just another one of them crazy business ploys to attract more customers into their store…
Enough getting sidetracked…
My parents may think this is Mexican town or the ghetto
But really,
It's just another little hole in the wall that no one knows about
It's perfectly safe, I promise
I'd never do anything wrong
Just leave me alone and let me be…
But I digress…
Let's go eat some Chinese food!
And enjoy this sunny day!

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