Black Belt Status

The journey to me finally earning my black belt (as an adult instead of at 18) in Shotokan Karate. Enjoy!

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After a journey of about 14 years and 3 months, I finally earned my black belt in Shotokan Karate. It definitely wasn’t the same experience as most people in karate have, where they start as a child, progress to their black belt, and go from there. I had to experience having a bad test, finding my identity and myself, and realizing how worthy I am of achieving my goals.

The first day I walked into the dojo, the day after September 11, I was a 10 year old little girl looking for the sport I was to excel in as a child. I tried soccer, ice skating, gymnastics, swimming, dance, and much more. My mom recommended I try karate and I figured it couldn’t hurt, especially with my bullying history, even at the tender elementary school age. I did karate from 5th grade until the end of my junior year in high school with my twin sister. At that point in our lives, we did the same activities together. We also scored the same on every single exam. When we did karate together, I feel like I didn’t take karate as seriously as I should have; each time we’d get partnered together, I wouldn’t exert my full effort. By the time we reached the end of our junior year in high school, we were third degree brown belts (three belts away from black) and needed 2 more black stripes (there’s 4 black stripes to a belt when you’re under 18) to move up to second degree brown belt. After third degree brown belt, there’s just second degree brown belt, first degree brown belt, and then black. We took our exam, returned to class to receive our results, and the instructor pulls us aside and told us we got one stripe. My sister felt super discouraged and ended up quitting. About two or three weeks later, I felt uncomfortable going to the class by myself without her and stopped attending classes myself. Unfortunately, I had a looming cloud over my head, feeling guilty for quitting because I knew in my heart I quit because I followed her and didn’t fully want to quit.

Once I reached my junior year of college, I realized I needed to establish my own identity outside of being an identical twin. Going to the same school as my twin sister, having the same major, and even sharing most of the same friends, my senses and sources were telling me to break free. After I went on a group trip to Israel with her, seeing as I could tell she didn’t want me around, I knew I needed to pave my own way. Once I returned from Israel, I began shaping my identity by becoming very involved with the IT department club and even ran it my senior year. Unfortunately, once college was over, I had lost my high school sports body and became overweight. Oops! When I realized being in karate was when I was in the best shape of my life, in addition to feeling bad about quitting due to following my sister, my heart told me return and get my black belt. I called the ISKC (Illinois Shotokan Karate Clubs) to sign up for classes again the September after I graduated from college, but missed the start of the session and had to wait until January to start. I had also just missed the testing cycle, which would mean the cycle would start over and I would be on track to test right away after 6 months. In January 2014, I stepped back into the dojo, as a clueless third degree brown belt wearing a white belt due to forgetting 70 percent of everything. Except this time, I was to walk into the dojo, alone, while paying for classes and such with my own money.

During this almost 2 year journey, I needed to restore my confidence, my health, and gain a sense of self. About a week and a half before my karate exam, I went to visit my second family for the holidays in the lovely Davenport, Iowa. While in Iowa, I was not only showered with love, but told how worthy I am of making life progress, facing my fears, and achieving my goals. After my trip to Davenport and another week of work, I ventured to a sensory deprivation chamber in Lincoln Park at a place called Spacetime Tanks, to seek further direction and positive energy towards passing my karate exam. My senses told me I needed to acknowledge my past, accept my past happened and is over now, and leave feeling revitalized. The only thing to possibly hold me back from passing my test is to not believe in myself.  I complete the last week of karate classes and get my “test permission slip” signed and go to take my exam. Prior to the test, I had a feeling I was going to have to test for the instructor who gave me the bad grade; surely enough, I did. I told myself to give it everything I have and do my best. It also meant more to me because I wanted to show him I was a mature adult who now fully understands and embodies the meaning and values of Shotokan Karate. *describe karate exam*

When I left the exam, I knew I had a good day. I was the loudest at screaming and huffing and puffing, the oldest one in the room taking my test, I aced all of my Japanese vocabulary this time instead of missing one, I didn’t drop my foot during the front kick to the front, side thrust kick to the front exercise, and left knowing I had done my best and needed to await my results. I even had a dream of me passing my test as I was becoming super sentimental when finding out I passed my test. When I arrived to receive my test results, I, to not much surprise, found out I passed and had finally earned my black belt. The other irony is one of my instructors from my childhood who was taking over for my current instructor on a brief leave for a few weeks, delivered my results to me. Despite seeing much career failure during my time in karate, this was the victory I needed to tell me I am worthy at succeeding at my true passions and even succeeding in general. We are all worthy of success, even when experiencing darkness and/or failure in other areas of life. If you tell yourself you can do it and really set your mind to it, you’ll be unstoppable and see light farther ahead than in distant planets!