The Tallest Candle on the Tree

And today for my Christmas poetry musings, here's my newest work, "The Tallest Candle on the Tree" - I speak from the unconventional Christmas views and experiences of not really having a blood family to want to talk to, my roommates are with family, my sister is with her boyfriend, I'm off work, etc. Instead of dwelling about being alone on Christmas, I decided to use it as a day to celebrate myself instead (I never grew up celebrating Xmas either). So Merry Holidaymas to everyone and with that, my poem is below!

It’s Christmas! 

When I woke up in the morning, 

There were no bells singing,

Reindeers running through my apartment,

Or Santa answering to milk and cookies at my doorstep.

Everyone’s either with family or their partner.

Love is in the air,

As we all want to catch a stare at this holy point in the year.

Here I sit on my big blue comfy couch,

With my laptop blocking the view of the holiday bush in my apartment,

Writing this poem in the same solitude I see from 9-5 in my grey box with no windows.

Oh how I yearn to have a clan to spend the holidays with,

Dress up nice,

And share a victory feast with.

Only this year is different than other years.

If fifteen was my lucky number,

Why would I be alone on Christmas?

Only this year is different than all other years.

It’s a common cliche only until it’s actually true!

Because this year, the Shamash candle, the central and highest-standing candle in a Menorah, has been lit every day for all of December

To signify the creation of a new beginning and newly found sense of self worth.

The Shamash candle also acts the keeper for the core central flame gathered when I visited my other star warriors, aka my second family.

Instead of feeling the need to celebrate with others all the time,

How about taking this day to celebrate myself on the only day of the year I’m not tied down to 8000 commitments or people because everything is either closed or canceled.

Or how about telling myself, “hey, you’ve worked your ass off for the past 350 something days and your roommates are gone for a few hours, go relax and have some me time because you’ve definitely done way more than enough to deserve it!”

People should take more days to honor themselves

And appreciate each day spent on earth,

Not in a hospital bed.

I don’t need some day in the calendar dictating when I’m supposed to see my loved ones just because I never grew up celebrating Christmas, I dumped a boyfriend for being a douchenwaffle and value my dignity and finding myself over being in a relationship, and these communities I have become a part of in my adult life are more my family than my blood family;

It’s better to be surrounded by your own warmth and knowing you’re loved than to be in an environment clouded by toxicity!

That way, you can realize the only way to see the light on the tree is to take your laptop off your lap!

If fifteen is my lucky number,

I can surely name 15 people I’ve helped this year and 15 things I’ve accomplished this year!

Here’s to everyone being happy and healthy on this extra warm holidaymas!