Find Treasure in the Red Zone 2015

Find Treasure in the Red Zone 2015 - Probably one of the most real poems I've written in a very long time and I've spent longer on this piece than most of my other poems. Enjoy! This is basically what I discovered after lots and lots of recent deep reflections!

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I am a warrior princess and must be strong for you.
On the streets, I am not a black belt, contact sport artist, or badass;
I am a small, vulnerable little girl, hungry for life’s adventures.

If fifteen is my lucky number,
How would I end up in the red zone more than the green?

I put a mask over my scars every day
While I bury my baggage under my bed for me to know and no one to ever find out;
It digs a pit into my heart of which I am trying to fill with love.
But I am a strong warrior princess who must feign being fine.

If I was really man’s best friend,
Why would attempts at kindness from men turn into my body acting like the fire alarm is going off?
I need to turn into an animal to make sure you don’t turn on me.
I wear a smile every day
While turning the red into inspirational quotes drawn on post it notes
To prevent myself from ending up needing to curl into a fetal position.

Oh womanhood,
How childlike you make me feel.
I can’t have a positive connection with my woman creator;
As a result fear my own gender while befriending men who think wanting to “chill” has a further assumed meaning than watching TV and talking.

I’m a 16 year old vulnerable little girl
Who’s scared to death of her first kiss,
Because being violated so many times
Makes me see affectionate touch is a warzone instead of a safe haven.

I want to find a magic lamp to wish for my virginity to have all nine lives again
In the same way you reset a video game when you’re about to get a game over
So you don’t lose your progress when you’re about to beat the game.

I want to feel pure again, unharmed like a healthy newborn baby,
Releasing the balloons and walking towards the rainbow.

Love is something to be given and received.

After finding music at a big dance concert at the Aragon to spread the sands of love
And hearing the resilient saxophone player roaring at 4am at the Green Mill to drunk people,
I have come to realize love is right in front of me;
I don’t have to search extra to find it unless I want to end up in shady town each time.
It has helped me channel the warrior’s strength to make my baggage feel like a 5lb weight being carried with one finger.

If fifteen is my lucky number,
I’d realize being in the red doesn’t mean game over;
It means I’m experiencing life fully and learning a lesson.
As I have been on more roller coasters and in more states in the last five months than I’ve been in my entire life.

Red is the universal color for love;
I just need to know it’s in my heart and in the stars the entire time.
I will look in mirror to confidently say “I love me and am worthy of love”!
For that, I shall be thankful!

Black Friday the 13th: Breathe in the Sun

Here's a poem too... which I wrote before I found out about any of this Paris tragedy stuff... called "Black Friday the 13th: Breathe in the Sun" - but my thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Paris. Stand strong!

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Walking down the Chicago South Loop sidewalks
As the blistering wind sucks my face dry of warmth,
I look at the sky, seeing the sun has still risen.

Do you know how many people would kill to greet the sun outside every day?

Imagine being stuck in a hospital bed indefinitely,
Struggling at lifting your head while constantly being shuttled around with by screaming sirens all the time;

Instead of telling everyone about your life story
About the mom or hard worker or amazing chef you are,
You’re telling them about the list of illnesses you have.

Imagine being stripped of your character,
Like those people who get beaten to the ground by cops
Just for blowing a red light
And not being the color of society.
It seems like anything other than plain white
Is always scrutinized,

Though adversity is what sparks the fight!

Today is Friday the 13th
And I sometimes think I’m unlucky.
I tried buying concert tickets for my favorite band,
Failed for the fourth time in a row, and ended up paying 3x the price to not wait several more years.
I should be thankful I could even afford this astounding experience.

My life may not be perfect,
I haven’t completely figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life,
But meanwhile, I’m still trying to fully comprehend what “adulting” is,
Because college never taught me about not making my wallet cry or about cheap, healthy gourmet 101.

I have the privilege of living an apartment of my own,
Buzzing with a zoo of love, 2 kitties, 2 ferrets, and 2 of the only people I can hand my sand grains of trust to.
I’m in a safe space with my biggest issues being what I want to do for my career,
But some people can’t even find a place to sleep at night.

It’s getting cold outside,
Which means holiday season is near.
Not everyone has a family or a place to go for Thanksgiving;
Some people even have to work,
Or be forever away being real life superheroes overseas in a war zone.
But here we are,
Painting humanity with hate,
Using toys as weapons instead of play,
And spending time complaining about lame Starbucks cup designs,
When we could be figuring out a way to fight veteran homelessness on Veteran’s day.

Why do we spend our time complaining instead of taking action?

With all of life’s commitments tying us down,
Why would people commit themselves to destroying what is divine while promoting the art of dying?

I’m thankful to be able to get up out of my bed by myself and contribute to the world,
Some people are pinned to the confines of outside or cement boxes;
In another world, my dear friend and I can walk around the Lincoln Park Zoo at 5am seeing stars through human pollution.

As I’m walking down the Chicago South Loop sidewalks,
The hydrogen and oxygen fill my lungs with bliss
While the sun radiates its love.

Make sure to give yourself a well-deserved break after your adventures,
Because floating free of senses will enable you to holistically thank nature for its smiling skies!
But for now, let’s just be thankful and consider ourselves lucky for this beautiful life!

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