Chicago Baconfest 2015 Amateur Cooking Contest Finalist

That moment when you find out you're a finalist in a cooking contest (this is a first for me!) With that, I have received my 5 seconds of fame and myself and my recipes were published. I will post the recipes on the blog, but here is the link to my famousness: http://baconfestchicago.com/2015-nueskes-finalists/

From Black Sheep to Pink Wolf

After my college years, I transformed from the black sheep to the pink wolf as a young lady searching for my identity.

I feel like I don’t mention this too much anymore, but I’m an identical twin. I finally found my identity just before turning 21 when I went to Israel in January, 2012. I attended a Jewish group trip called “Birthright” for about 2 weeks with my sister. We were basically attached at the hip our entire lives, but I began separating from my sister because she convinced her crew to dislike me; I decided to not deal with it anymore. When we went to the Western Wall, I put my entire body against the small section of the wall reserved for women. I cried to God, praying I would be able to reveal what I masked my entire life.

Prior to the trip, in college, I served as the secretary of the IT department club during my junior year and reached a point of almost quitting the club. After the trip, two months later, I knew I had a laundry list of club-improvement ideas and ultimately decided to run for president. To my confidence-lacking disbelief, I won the election to serve as president for my senior year. My sister didn’t attend any meetings during my term as president. This was the first time when people began to see me as “Rebecca” and didn’t even know I had a twin, despite having the same major and attending the same school. No more being called “Duxler”, “Duxlers”, “Dux”, “Dux Trux”, “Duxler Twins”, anything else associated with my last name, and my favorite, “Rachel”. No more feeling like I was stuck under my sister’s shadow. I was finally liberated and could start being myself without fear of ridicule.

During my term as club president, I excelled, began getting noticed in the department as a standout, and even won some scholarships and awards along the way. On my last day of finals second semester senior year, I was given advice on how to handle finding my identity, how to attract people while being different, and how to survive living at home again post-graduation from a 37 year-old marine veteran. From that point on, the old me began to vanish.

After my commencement ceremony a couple days later, I had to move back home; my extracurricular involvement ceased due to school ending. Sadness struck. My only escapes were going to work, going home and sitting in my car to cry, or sitting in my room alone crying myself to sleep most of the time no thanks to the hostile environment from my parents. I was always the target of bullying from my immediate family, as well as some of my relatives. I was called fat all the time because I graduated college with some extra weight. I was put down and criticized for any existing reason. Anything my parents couldn’t take responsibility for, ranging from my dad’s ulcerative colitis flare-ups to misplaced car keys was my fault. I felt like my best friend was my laptop. This was the second most depressed I had been in my entire life.

Thankfully, my friend Josh was a lifeline to me. Around July 4, 2013 I asked him for advice on how to get out of this rut. He tells me, “hey I’m interning in the suburbs, you should come to my medieval combat club called “Belegarth” with me.” Without hesitation, I accepted his offer. I showed up in my work out clothes, was handed a foam sword and shield, and made my attempts to go fight. I did well on the field for my first practice ever and people were actually treating me well. After practice, we went to El Faro, some taco/Mexican food restaurant, to all hang out together. After Josh drove me back to my car, my heart told me this was something I would invest much of my time in… without my sister. My sister had always wanted to do activities separate from me. This time, it was my turn to make the separation call.

Fast forward to October, 2013, I went camping with Belegarth for the first time. Belegarth camping trips are called “events”, which generally last for a weekend or more. After getting a spear to the face during one of the line fights, the spearman apologized to me. Oddly enough, we realized we knew each other indirectly from high school fencing; he introduced me to his practice leaders, one of them being a man named Danny. Danny and I chatted for awhile and I would later grasp his initial reputation as someone who was super helpful and could fix physical ailments.

Around Thanksgiving that year, I asked for advice on how to handle more family abuse when I ran into him at a practice; he told me he was a holistic doctor, owned his own practice, and handed me a business card. We exchanged numbers, and I called his office the next day.

After being under his wing for about a year, I lost 60 pounds, my depression and anxiety weren’t overtaking me anymore, I sustained being able to live on my own, I finally fell in love, and I realized how wonderful Belegarth people truly are. Not only is Belegarth a place of healing for me, it is a place where I can be my whole self, be free from traumatic scenarios, truly realize my identity, and even dig deeper into the martial arts side of me.

Another very memorable Belegarth moment was actually off the field. Given my history of being bullied, at one of my camping events, I randomly encountered a lovely man named Chris at night. After talking to him, he told me he was surprised I was ever bullied. His compliment moved me to tears, and now he is one of my dearest friends in Belegarth.  To top it off, instead of people wanting to avoid me or pick on me, they are trying to find me on Facebook and hang out with me. People actually want to be my friend for who I am. Thank you Belegarth for being oh so sacred to me and for helping me transform from the black sheep who got picked on all the time to the pink wolf, my lovely and quirky-warrior self. Now, I’m just me, and that’s how I’ll always be!

Dreams are for Humans not Horses

Walking down the illuminated city streets
With a tasty teriyaki beef stick in one hand and phone in the other,
A lovely lady in a bubble shield shall blockade the grind’s tirade…

Work hard, play harder, knock ‘em dead, survive to thrive…

The following words are ones to live by in order to pry the barrier between being a somebody vs being an everybody in the crowded farm…

Do you want to rise to the top?
Do you want to know what it’s like to be the one sitting on the throne shared with Donald Trump, or Marissa Mayer, or anyone who’s plowed and teethed their way through every battle to be able to wear the crown?

Success isn’t for everyone… it’s for those with the desire to aim beyond the stars,
The drive to rocket to the moon and back with the willingness to fall in the mud,
And even soar past Pluto,
While saying hi to the Disney Dog as he rubs his comedic attitude onto you…

Work ethic means to mold to being a human, resilience and reason,
Not being a work horse on autopilot…

We all possess the desires to live the story book life,
But if you want your story to be more than a fantasy,
You have to eat, drink, breathe, sleep, live for the dreams
In order for them to come alive!

It’s one thing to “say” you want it
It’s another to “act” upon your goals
If you dream it, do it!
That’s all there is to it!

Surviving an Episode of the Mother's Day Show

Since I feel people notice Hallmark Holidays, especially ones directed at a parent, when they're close with their parents or their parents have passed away, I'd like to touch onto the third category of these holidays, which is troubled relationship with parents. My poems haven't entered this direction in awhile, but after seeing too many happy social media posts from others, I had to get the sour feelings off my chest. Thus, this poem was born. Enjoy!

Last Updated: 5-8-16

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Dear Hallmark Holiday,
I see all the Facebook pictures, cards, flowers, gifts, and social media posts, saying “Happy Mother’s Day to my beautiful mother” or other silly sappiness.

Let me begin again by saying I am not mourning a loss,
But instead, I am envisioning the feelings I wish I had and channeling my inner smile by thinking about my friends who are new moms…

My heart aches at the inability to post a picture on Facebook of us because I would rather be my own free agent than show the world the woman who created my boss levels.

I shudder at my inability to tell you I love you, which I don’t remember the last time I’ve done so.
I don't feel safe around you and the thought of family gatherings makes me wake up feeling like I rolled in the mud and forgot to take a shower.

My stomach drops like the Tower of Terror ride at the inability to trust you, see you as a role model, or see myself as your daughter.

Fast forward to most episodes of the Mother’s Day show after I had to venture to your headquarters as usual.
I walk into the room and feel like you see me as someone from a distant land and parade me more intensely than the toughest job interview.
The episode replays itself annually as I put on my fake smile and bring you a present.

I can’t even tell you the slightest bit about my life, which leads you to Google-creep my name to find I was a finalist in a bacon cooking contest or my blog posts in which I share my story publicly.

Mom, if you end up seeing this poem online, I want you to know you are still my mom, my adventures are helping me forgive you, and you are the reason why I am alive.
I no longer wish to hold onto the dead weight of bitterness, because I thank you for raising me right to learn the skills to become a successful and independent woman.

To everyone who struggles with parental unit relationships, you are not alone or forgotten about during these arbitrary calendar days.
There are hopefully other people in your life to show love and affection to without a hallmark holiday.
You are all loved by many and may have to live through some uncomfortable encounters, but you will win and move forward.

While embarking on soul-searching ventures to figure out who I need in my life, the biggest lesson I want to share is how family and love don’t come from blood or default placement; they come from where the stars guide you.

Relax

My poem on the importance to relax and stay calm. Enjoy!

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Relax
Why be so stressed out all the time when fresh air is everywhere

Breathe
That’s what the unlimited amounts of oxygen are for.
It’s time to level yourself out!

Meditate
Go zen yourself into bliss mode
And escape from life for a bit!

Calm the fuck down
Stress is a lot more harmful than it looks…
Can cause physical harm
Enough to annihilate an entire farm…

Relief!
Go and get some!
You need it!
Sleep soundly and float along to victory!

Give Back

A short poem on the meaning and value of volunteerism. Enjoy!

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Give back
Your upscale lifestyle should be seen as a gift and not innate

Volunteer
There’s plenty of people who can use a hand
So let’s take a stand!

Help out
Instead of being selfish, let’s recycle our resources… and money
Because being wealthy with money doesn’t mean you’re wealthy
Give up some money, honey
And be that sweet taste for those left in the cold to pleasure
As kindness is a treasure!

Make a difference
The cliché phrase meaning to share some love
Which is as beautiful as doves
To be released in the night sky
For the extension of a hand should never be questioned with a why!

The Belle Warrior

In the spirit of posting more content, I went to my first ever storytelling open mic (on 5-1-15) and what better story to tell than the happenings at a Belegarth camping event. This is basically an explanation of what a typical event day looks like in short story format from my (Maron's) point of view. Enjoy!

Since I live in Chicago, I have also posted the current locations and Facebook pages of the area practices (meetups). If it's your first time, we have loaner gear for you. Just show up in workout clothes and prepare to sweat :)

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Note: This story is based on a fantasy, but all of this is 100% true!

Maron has never been the typical face of society. As a pseudonym for the lady standing behind the mic, she stands for style and smiles, minus the sass. With her life being a large adventure consisting of being a poet, web developer, martial artist, sword fighter, chef, nerd, healthspirer, blogger, youtuber, warrior, musician, musical producer, singer, lyricist, short story artist, volunteer, comedian, photographer, dance game master, aspiring gameshow winner, novelist, teacher, mentor, public speaker, and now a story teller, for this segment, we shall delve into the land of nerdom, which connects with being a warrior, martial artist, and sword fighter. Maron is a full-fledged fighter despite over 80% of the combatant population being male. Oh well!

Welcome to the “Belegarth Medieval Combat Society”: A land where people wear medieval garb and whack each other with various foam weapons.

Well, what on earth is that? How is this even something remotely fun? It seems kind of… weird

Fun? The entire group revolves around foam, fun, fighting, friendship, family, and food! People from everywhere land (98% nationally) gather in one central location to enjoy the awesomeness!

This past weekend (April 23rd-26th), Maron had recently returned from “Spring Wars”, one of many “events” where several hundred people gather on a campground and camp, fight, socialize, and be merry for several days while enjoying being off the grid for a bit and not having to worry about adulting.

Maron arrived at YMCA Camp Abe Lincoln at approximately 10:30pm in Davenport, Iowa, aka smack dab in bu-fu nowhere, and went to “troll” aka check-in. She then entered the distant land of Selonia, aka her cabin, and set up shop, changed into her medieval garb, and went wandering for the night.

By the end of the very cold night, I ended up in “Hellhammer” camp in a circle talking about living in Chicago and taking the train.

The next morning, we all wake up at morning o’clock, which is generally between 8 and 10am because we don’t really check our phones or wear watches, take our foam weapons to “weapons check” to ensure safety and that the weapons meet the length/weight requirements and such, and you take them with you once they’ve been checked. Once your weapons are checked, make sure to eat some breakfast. It can span from a granola bar, cereal, eggs, lots and lots of bacon, coffee, tea, and you can even hit up Lady Feri, the food vendor, who sells the tastiest unhealthy indulgences ever, such as a bratwurst wrapped in a cheese quesadilla… Mmmmmm, fattening! Afterwards, you change into your “fighting garb” and prepare for the epic battles, which last for several hours. You can fight with a sword/shield, two swords, dagger, spear, two-handed sword, javelins, and even throw a “poke ball rock” (made of yarn) on someone’s head and win the fight against that person. After one of the days of fighting, there was a 5 man tourney, where Maron decided to join last minute with one of her fellow Selonians, two fellow Chicago folk, and a random newbie from Canada… Yes, people come to these things all the way from freeking Canada!

Next, it’s time to clean yourself up, change in to your feast garb, go to the “feast hall” (or tent), and eat even better than you can at home… unless you’re a chef like Maron is. This time, beef/vegetarian Chili and beef stew were served the first feast night and garlic/onion pork roast, pulled chicken cooked in a wood fire, ratatouille, and salad were served the second feast night. Mmmmmm, the tastiness!

Once feast has been served and cleaned up, it’s time to have some drinks and be merry… people even home-made their own beer, meade, apple pie drink, and much more. Maron’s palette of drink is always left smiling.

Since there is way more to these events than can be described in 7 minutes, for a small piece of nightlife pie, let’s just say that on Saturday night, Maron and the Selonians decided to adventure to “Pirate Camp”, the land off in the distant dark scary mudpit downhill maze past the scary, poisonous trees. Thankfully, the camp was able to be spotted easily because that’s where the main fire was. Drunken pirate songs were sung, cowbells were hit, jolly jolly grog was passed around, and fire spinners were spinning their fire sticks. After awhile, Maron had enough grog and wanted to go wander around some more until she encountered the Jesters Court, another group of fighters. One of the Selonians, named Flea, decided to wander with Maron and ended up in the Jester’s headquarters, located right next to some campfire and the crab shack, where Geyser was setup. Flea was a very sleepy Flea and decided to pass out in one of the Jester’s tents. Lots of conversations about history and the Children’s Crusade later, we needed to “flick Flea back to Sylas camp… or wherever”… hurmph… Shenanigans were definitely had in the Jester’s camp, but at least Maron and the Jesters ensured he got back to his bed safely!

As much as this story can expand forever and ever, if you’re interested in entering this fun-loving community and the best thing that has ever happened to Maron, there is actually a practice on Sunday from 3:30pm to sundown (weather permitting) on Foster Avenue Beach, 5200 N Lake Shore Drive off the Bryn Mawr Red Line. For more information, search for the facebook group “Morva” or “Esgaroth”. Hope to see you lovely people come out and fight and be merry sometime!

For other places to check out the Belegarth community, here are some other Chicago (and suburban) practices, all of which are currently active:

The realm (practice area) of Nightfort practices Sundays at 4:00pm to 7:30pm (or sundown) at Citizen’s Park, 511 Lake Zurich Rd, Barrington, IL 60010 (weather permitting) from approximately May-October. Winter and bad weather practices are at the Village Church of Barrington, 1600 E. Lake Cook Rd, Barrington, IL 60010

Facebook Page: Nightfort: Belegarth Medieval Combat Society

The realm (practice area) of Dunharrow practices on Tuesdays from 5pm to sundown at Wing Park, 1000 Wing St., Elgin, IL 60123

Facebook Page: Dunharrow, BMCS

The realm (practice area) of Obsidian Hollow practices on Saturdays from 2-5pm at Big Sky (Ken Carpenter) Park, 600 Harvest Gate, Lake in the Hills, IL, 60156

Facebook Page: Obsidian Hollow

The realm (practice area) of Galahad practices on Thursdays from 7-10pm at the Southeast corner of Michigan and Balbo in the Chicago Loop (near 829 S Wabash, Chicago, IL 60605)

Facebook Page: Morva; Galahad Medieval Combat Society

The realm (practice area) of Muxlovia practices on Saturdays from 5-8pm at the Bible Baptist Church of Romeoville, 301 W. Normantown Rd., Romeoville, IL 60446

Facebook Page: Muxlovia